Dispelling the Clouds
by Eternal Flight
Summary: Yamaguchi always had someone protecting him. Before Tsukishima, there had been a girl who had saved from bullies, and promised to be his strength. Little did he know that much later, the tables would be turned, and she would need him as much as he had once needed her. A cute little story about childhood friends, hopes, and finding your place in the world.
1. Chapter 1

Dispelling the Clouds

Chapter 1: Give Me a Break

You would think that someone would grow out of being a crybaby.

Sure it's cute when you're four or five, clinging to your mother's skirt like your life depended on it. People would coddle you and tell you how adorable you were, only to see you flinch in fear at the unexpected compliment. They'd laugh at how precious you were, and for some reason, you thought it was okay to act like that. So it became a norm for you.

Now I'm not talking about myself. Not even in the slightest.

I was always the strong one out of the two of us. We had known each other since we could both remember. Our mothers had both come from countries across the sea to study here, and had become fast friends when they met through a motherhood group in the area. They made us play dates, and once they saw how well we got along, decided we should spend as much time together as possible. And after having our parents shove us together so much when we could barely process how to use our own limbs or mouths, we just came to accept the fact that we would always be together.

Or at least I did.

I told myself that this idiot couldn't live without me to protect him from the bulk of crap that was sent his way. He was always a little too soft to deal with things, and would come running to me, tears streaming down his chubby, dumb face. Without a second thought, I would pulverize the crap out of whoever hurt him. It didn't matter that I was a girl beating up a bunch of stupid, dirty boys. They had hurt the only thing I knew for certain, I would make certain that they knew I would always give them a good butt whooping for it.

And he would always cling to me like his life depended on it, blubbering his thanks into whatever frilly contraption my mother thought a little girl should wear. It was something I lived for back then. I told myself that as long as the two of us were together, everything would be alright and I could protect us both from the entire world.

But like every real life experience, that didn't happen.

Low and behold, right before entering elementary school, my weak hearted lifeline and I were severed from each other. My parents had to move – nothing uncommon in this day and age- and that was that. We didn't get to say goodbye. I doubted either of us really knew what was happening until it was already said and done for.

I didn't know what to do with myself back then.

After spending almost every conscious year of my life revolving my actions around protecting him, I didn't know how to act on my own. The little girls were all obsessed with dolls and playing house, and the boys were too disgusted by the girls to even think of getting close. I had no need for dolls or playing house. I had someone I needed to nurture and protect. Hadn't we promised each other when we got older we would be married? Why did I need to fill my imagination with anything other than that?

Yeah, it was childish and silly. I know. A lot of kids make promises like that with each other, or to their parents in some form or fashion. It shouldn't have meant anything to me as time went on and other kids came to be my friends.

But for some reason, it always did. I thought about Yamaguchi every day I went to my new grade school, sending him poorly scrawled letters written in crayon almost every day. I told him I loved him, and that he didn't need to worry about the bullies he always wrote about. That I would be back soon to let the good old days return for both of us.

Fast forward a few years.

About eight, to be honest.

Everything changed.

Outside of the usual growth spurts and horrible beginning of puberty, my parents got a divorce. It wasn't unexpected or heartbreaking in any sense that I could tell you, but it did hurt. Especially when I looked at my mom. She loved my dad, I know she really did, but hey, it didn't mean he felt the same way. That other woman came, stole his heart, and now they were happily married. The two of them lived on some expensive land near the coast, so for almost three years now, I had a cool spot to hide away at during the summer.

I told myself that I could get over all of it. But by then, I had nothing to rely on and no one to depend on.

You're probably wondering what happened with Yamaguchi, right?

Well surprise, surprise, he found someone else to take my place by then.

I had felt a pit of anger fill my stomach the first time he had ever written about Tsukishima, and from there, had given up on whatever childhood fantasies I had about returning to him like those knights did in fairy tales to save the damsel- or in my case, dude- in distress. It was clear he looked up to whoever this new guy was, and would be just fine without me. He didn't need me anymore.

It wasn't an easy pill to swallow. There I was, fourteen years old and still full of childish whimsy, hoping the pathetic shell of a human being I was turning out to be would have one small hope granted to her. I don't know why I wanted to be with him so bad. Maybe because it fed that stupid heroic gauge I had built up over the years to protect myself. To keep people from thinking that I was the one who needed saving.

And boy, did I need saving.

I shut everything out. I had no friends, no life, no nothing. My lifestyle wasn't girly or cute, and for a while, I got a taste of what Tadashi must have felt all those years ago. People treated me like I was some kind of crazy outcast who purposefully wanted attention, but at the bottom of it all, I was just too overwhelmed to care what people saw in me anymore. I was angry, like a caged animal ready to snap at the next hand offered kindly to it. I didn't know what I wanted anymore, or what really mattered.

So when push came to shove, and things couldn't really be held back anymore, I begged my mom to let us move back to my childhood hometown. I needed to go back, just to reassure myself one final time that there was nothing worth salvaging. That he wouldn't care if I was in his life or not.

She resisted at first. No one wants to move back to a place that holds memories of a time now gone. Especially since it reminded her that we weren't coming back with my dad. That this wouldn't be some happy, sappy reunion that would make us all feel rainbows and butterflies on the inside at coming back to the place our happiness had blossomed.

But I knew she couldn't say no forever. I never asked her for anything, and when it came down to it, she wanted me to be happy. Even if it meant sacrificing her own newly formed life without my dad and swallowing the bitter pill once and for all.

Her job finally got a transfer to a town nearby, and only a few months into the last year of my junior high, we were back. Nothing had changed in regards to my feeling, but gods, had everything about that place changed. Everything seemed busier, the town and suburbs growing larger and expanding into the countryside just beyond. It reminded me that time went on, pushing further and further until you could find anything exactly how you left it.

And it made me nervous, filling me with an optimistic energy I hadn't realized existed anymore. My mind was busy playing back old memories, willing me to relive the only happy memories I really had at this point. We were going to be reunited. I could be myself again and not have to worry about being shut out. And maybe, just maybe, everything could go back to normal again.

Whatever I thought normal was at that point, I couldn't tell you. I was expecting things I couldn't get back. You see, when life takes something from you, you can't get that lost time back. It won't ever get returned to you, no matter how much you want to be reimbursed.

Which is probably why I wasn't as excited as I thought I was to see Tadashi again. Our moms had planned a nice little brunch once our move-in was all over and done with, excited to finally be face to face for the first time in years. I couldn't help but wonder how much everything had changed with him like it had with me. Did he still have those annoying little freckles? How tall was he? Was he still a blubbering baby? Or had life finally toughened him up?

I felt nervous. Nervous that he wasn't going to be the guy I hoped he turned out to be.

Life changes you after eight years. I was living proof of that.

My hair was cropped short around my bony face, giving my stupidly big eyes a harsher glare. I was petite, with arms a little too long for my body, and assets I wished I didn't have. My ears were pierced three times, hung with different sized gauges that made it clear that I was trouble.

That maybe I had and would always be a menace.

Still, I didn't want to appear that way to him. I don't know why it irked me so much, but I actually dressed up for that first meeting. Maybe to the discerning eye my flowing top and dark-washed jeans seemed normal, but they were anything but. I wore nothing but stretchy tees and whatever pants would fit into my chunky boots all year round, so for me to actually spend more than five minutes putting an outfit together, it was special.

Because it made me vulnerable.

There was this never-ending pit in my belly, and despite my better judgment, I gave into it. What if he really had changed? Would I be able to take it with my cool demeanor the way I had learn to shoulder the pain in the last few years? I kept telling myself that it didn't matter. That people had to have changed over eight years. That all these hopes would go unfounded like usual.

But when we got to his house, I felt something I had been grasping at for years: peace.

The small, two-storied villa looked almost identical to what it had when I had last seen it. I could feel myself retracing the steps I had taken as a child. The little worn table where we had sat was now gone, but I remembered its chipping red paint with vividness. And just around the edge of the house, past the last visible spot of grass, bush, and tree from the side of weathered flowerboxes was our secret hiding spot. Maybe, just maybe, I could squeeze in if I-

"Mi!" My mom hissed under her breath, grabbing me by the elbow so she could jerk me towards the door. "It's rude to gawk like that. Come on. We shouldn't keep them waiting."

I rolled my eyes, mumbling under my breath. "Hm."

She walked me to the door just like that, holding my elbow tight as she rang the doorbell. I knew it wasn't to keep me from snooping anymore. I knew she was scared too. It must be hard for her to meet up with Tadashi's mom. After all, so much had changed in her life. She was trying to brace it. Maybe a little bit for me, but mostly for herself.

The door opened quickly, and a woman I immediately recognized as Tadashi's mom stepped out. Her freckled face was pulled into a wide grin, and it felt so warm just to be in her presence again. After all, she was pretty much a second mom to me.

"Oh, welcome! Welcome!" She was moving quickly to embrace my mom in a hug. My elbow was thankfully released as they did. After a moment, they let go and her eyes drifted to me. "And goodness me! Is this young lady Hiromi?"

"Yes it is." My mother replied warmly, pushing me forward just a tad. "Say hello, Mi."

I dipped my head, hating that the words had dissolved in my mouth the moment the door had opened. "It's nice to see you again."

"The feeling is mutual my dear! Please, come in, both of you. I have some tea and refreshments waiting for us."

I could feel myself pause as we entered. The smell was so familiar and relaxing. All the weight the last eight years had caused was suddenly lifted from my shoulders. I knew the problems and worries I had formed weren't gone, but gods, for once, they seemed manageable.

Tadashi wasn't here yet, and despite myself, I started to worry again. What if he had left so he wouldn't have to see me again? Had he made new friends, and decided some old childhood friend wasn't worth his time? It could be possible. Anything could be possible.

I tried to ward off the dismal thoughts with some happy thoughts as my mom chatted non-stop with his. The two of them seemed to click like two pieces of a puzzle, and it was nice to see them so attentively chatting. Mom had barely had anyone stable to talk to when she found a new job to drown all her feelings at, and seeing her so alive, so energetic made me thankful that my selfish wish was rubbing some goodness back into her life as well.

But their conversation gave me time to freak out. Or more honestly, time to pump myself up for Tadashi's impending arrival.

Just as much as he could have changed for the worse, he could have changed for the better. He could still be the same sweet, slightly overwhelmed awkward duckling he had always been. He might still look at me and smile, despite the appearance I now had eight years later.

We might be able to still be friends.

The thought echoed through my veins as I stood to take all of our dishes into the adjoining kitchen. There might be something to build on, if he was willing to let me back in again. I knew I was already for it- heck, I was borderline obsessed with the thought of having that comfort again- but until I got some sign from him as to his thoughts of me invading his life again, I couldn't be sure.

The door clicked open not long afterward, and while he moved into the house, I froze. The saucer in my hands was suddenly gripped tightly as I heard his voice- now deeper with the onset of puberty- and suddenly, I couldn't breathe.

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

I was going to be sick.

He was different.

I was different.

There was no way-

"Welcome home, Tadashi." His mother's voice interrupted my frantic thoughts. "Do you remember Hiromi and her mother? They came over for brunch, like I told you earlier."

This was it. He was here.

Should I turn? No, no. He wouldn't run at the sight of me.

Maybe I could run to the bathroom. I'd hide away in there until he went upstairs.

No. I had to be strong. Even if all the hopes I had turned out to be nothing, I would face them like it all. And after the pieces crumbled in between my fingers, I still had to try.

I still had to prove to myself I was worth something.

I swiveled on my heel, and my eyes immediately swept over him. He was taller. Much taller than he had been as a kid. I could tell even in the distance between us that he towered over me by a good seven or eight inches- maybe more. Those arms and legs lengthened by time were muscled but not buff, and he seemed healthy but not overwhelmingly masculine. He still had those telltale freckles dusting his cheeks, ones that were now lean and manly unlike the chubby ones that laced my memories. He looked shocked- probably mirroring the look that was plastered on my own face- drinking me in like more than eight years had passed.

And it felt like it had.

And it felt like it hadn't.

The past, present, and future seemed wrapped all in one at that very moment.

The look on his face softened until he was giving me a cautious smile. "Sorry, I just got back from practice. Have you guys been here long?"

I knew he was talking to me, but I couldn't speak. Words escaped me, logic was denied, and all I could do was continue to gawk at him, still in shock. He was talking to me. Me. And it seemed he didn't mind my awkward, rebellious transformation. He was just seeing me as me.

"Not too long, dear." His mother put into the silence with a reassuring bounce to her voice. "Did I happen to tell you that Tadashi joined the volleyball club? He's quite good, if I can say so myself. You know he's always been so meek, but this has sure helped give him some confidence."

"A little." He confessed, still looking at me. He still seemed timid, but so kind. Like all this time really hadn't changed what mattered about him. "I still have some ways to go."

Our mothers were soon chatting amongst themselves, and we were yet again forgotten. I still hadn't budged or softened my own expression. Because I was scared that the moment I did, I would break down and there would be no saving my image. I was still the strong one. I was the one who carried our burdens.

He lifted an eyebrow, still a little skeptical that I hadn't said a word, before jerking his head towards the stairwell in the hallway just beyond the kitchen. "Should we go upstairs? We could play some video games or-"

The words drifted off awkwardly, but it didn't matter. He was inviting me back into his life. The expression on my face finally lifted, and for the first time today, I smiled like I hadn't in years. "Sure. Games sound like a plan."

We spent the rest of the day together, chilling on the floor in his room like we had all those years ago. We didn't say much at first, but as the game we were co-op playing intensified, the words started pouring out as well. He talked about school, things he had done in the last few years, and some nice vacations he had went on with his parents. There was talk of Tsukishima once or twice, but it didn't matter. That envy I felt for this stranger seemed faraway in Tadashi's presence. Here with him, there was understanding and peace.

Things I hadn't really felt since I left this place.

The words suddenly returned, and I was telling him everything.

Well, almost everything.

I told him about what it felt like to move, my parent's divorce, living with my dad only in the summers, and what it felt like to return. He listened while we continued to play, adding his own paced questions to the whole scheme of thing so I wasn't rambling nonstop for god knows how long. He never asked how I felt, or why I had changed. I think he merely accepted them the way I had with his own growth. To him, it didn't matter. To him, I was still the same girl who had left here almost a decade ago.

But like all good things, this first meeting had to come to an end.

Both of our mothers came up to check on us, grinning and laughing at how we seemed to jump right back into the flow of things despite being separated for so long. We must have looked pretty childish, now that I think back on it, sitting side by side on the floor while scrunching our faces in hopes of better coordinating our movements in the game. It took me by surprise when he turned to give me a lopsided grin, sending my heart fluttering in my chest at the sight of it.

We were no longer children, I realized with clarity at that point. Because the feelings I now held towards him were so much more complex than the innocent love I had back then. They confused me as to who was supposed to be helping who, and what role I needed to fulfill.

I remember him standing to his feet, moving to hold a masculine hand to my smaller one. For a moment I almost reached for it, but at the last moment I caught myself and got to my feet in one quick motion without his help. He didn't say anything, but the look on his face reassured me that he hadn't taken my rejection for help seriously.

"That was pretty nice." He filled in as we filed behind our moms back to the main floor. I had turned to look at him, and he was giving me that same smile he had when our eyes had first met. "You should come over again sometime. I was really having trouble with that boss battle."

It was hard to keep the smile on my face from changing. I could feel my lips wobbling, pushing and pulling in the torrent of emotions that flooded my system. He wanted me to come back. This wasn't merely a polite, wishy-washy goodbye to appease me. It was heartfelt and genuine. Just like him.

"Yeah." I breathed, smiling a little wider. "I will."

**AN: Woot! Back with another fic! Just wanted to guage a reader response to this and see if anyone was interested in reading it. Thanks like always for reading this far, and please leave a comment if you have a chance! ~ E.F.**


	2. Chapter 2

Dispelling the Clouds

Chapter 2: Fists and Feet

And I did go back to hang out with Tadashi.

Time and time again, until it became normal that we were in each other's presence as often as possible. And no, by that I don't mean that I spent every waking moment with him. I liked Tadashi and was glad that he had welcomed me back, but I liked my space even more.

No, scratch that. I _needed_ my space. To keep everything the way it was, I needed time to recompose myself so every small fall, every tiny failure, wouldn't show when I was in his presence.

His house became our meeting place, and after only a short while, it felt like I actually lived there. His parents treated me like their own, and always made me feel at ease whenever we happened to cross paths. They didn't mind that I would hole myself up in Tadashi's room, and were often commenting on how nice it was that after all this time, we still got along so well. I had been worried at first that they would have been a little alarmed to have us alone together- after all, what good could two teenagers be up to in a closed off room?- but that worry, like all the others, drifted into nothingness as they continued to give us space and freedom.

And there wasn't much to worry about, trust me.

All Tadashi and I ever did was study, read, or play video games. I already knew that he and Tsukki- the ironically cute nickname I had come to accept for the asshole I had now been introduced to- were planning on going to Karasuno High, and were hoping to place high enough on the entrance exams to be placed into one of the college preparatory courses. I had merely accepted that I would merely go there as well, and did my best to begrudgingly study with both of them.

Now don't get me wrong. Although my outward appearance may have screamed rebel and outcast, I was actually pretty smart. Having no friends and no social life left plenty of room for studying and learning, so I was easily at the top of my class in academics since starting junior high. Tadashi was also pretty smart- and Tsukki too if I had to admit it- and I had always assumed that the three of us would be in the same class together once we started high school.

Yet again, I wasn't getting what I expected.

Good news: I did make a college preparatory class.

Bad news: I got into the highest class while Tadashi and the lame-ass Blondie got into the next class down. There was no way to change classes- why would someone smarter want to be transferred to a lower class anyway, right?- and with my heart in the pit of my chest, I realized that part of my hopeful wishing would remain just that.

A stupid dream that would never see the light of reality.

Still, I made good of the progress I had been making with Tadashi. We were really at ease with one another, and for the first time in years, I started feeling whole again. There was still a lot to fix- I think I had always understood that- but knowing that I had the tools to start rebuilding was something truly amazing. It was warming to know that the pieces I thought would crumble like sand between my fingers were beginning to solidifying, and finally, I could be at ease with life and what it became.

Life doesn't let it happen that way though.

Fast forward to the beginning of our first year in high school.

Everything was going smoothly- well as smoothly as it could for a high schooler- and despite the anxiety I had about being in a new place with only Tadashi to lean on, it wasn't as bad as I thought. People gave me my space, and for once, it felt like there was enough commotion going on in the new hustle and bustle of being freshman that made me fall by the wayside. A few brave souls had tried to talk to me at the beginning- probably more so out of a need for gossip than to actually be my friend- but once they saw that I would respond or react to them, they gave up with plenty to talk about.

I didn't mind the scathing comments. At least, not from the kids in my class.

But when it came from someone like Tsukki, that was another thing entirely.

Because he knew how to get under my skin. And make me look like a fool around Tadashi when he was the one who didn't deserve to have any friends.

Like I had already understood, the two of them had joined the volleyball team here too. The practices had started the third week into school, and from there, the sport had cut into the precious few hours I had with Tadashi. Still, I told myself to be happy that a) he had found something he really enjoyed and b) we could still spend some time together almost every day. Sure, I could eat lunch with him, but with Tsukki being around him like a silent, obnoxious shadow, I usually preferred to eat by myself in some secluded corner of the school grounds and only interact with them when we came to school and when we left.

We had been walking out of the school grounds, joking around about something stupid like usual. Tsukki and I were arguing and giving each other scathing glares like we always did as Tadashi tried his best to keep us in check, and when I made an underhanded comment he made one back in kind with a little extra venom. It had something to do with Tadashi and me, and as it registered, it filled me with this unfathomable anger. I was usually peeved with this idiot as it was, but for some reason, that comment threw me over the edge.

I barked something scathing back, slinging a handful of curses and ugly words at him, then tromped off down the hill like hell on wheels. Tadashi's shocked face at the sudden change in my disposition burned into my mind, but not even that could ward off those hurtful words his idiotic friend had thrown so carelessly at me.

It hurt. Not so much that he had said it, but because they were true.

I was so blinded by my frustration and rage that I stopped, slamming a fist into the outer wall of the convenience store at the bottom of the hill that Karasuno was located on. The sound popped in the silence all around me, echoing in my veins as it vanished. It was a very dangerous side of me I had hoped disappeared when Tadashi reappeared in my life, but it was clear that all this pent up insecurity was just boiling beneath the surface even more so now than it ever had been in the past.

And without any help, it would be the end of everything. Anger was a bitter poison that burned all good things away with its ravenous strength. Eventually, it would push Tadashi away. And it would turn me into what I feared most: a monster.

Thankfully, some help came just a few seconds afterwards.

A funny looking guy stepped out of the store, pausing outside the sliding double doors to stare at me. He had multiple piercings in his ears, and his dyed blond hair was pull back under two tight bands right across the center of his skull. The orange hoodie he wore was baggy and carefree, looking oddly out of place with the tidy store apron just on top of it. He looked like trouble, even to someone like me. I almost choked; this guy was like the male version of me, save for the hair color and good seven inches of height he had over me.

He took a few paced steps in my direction. I watched as he raised a hand cautiously into the air before raising an eyebrow at my snarling features. "Mind not destroying my store with your death punches?"

"Sorry." I felt the word leave my lips before I even realized I had spat it into the silence. The tears were pricking my eyes, and I started to brush past him, knowing the last thing I wanted to do was break down in front of a stranger.

Too bad for me, he didn't let me more than a step behind him.

I felt a hand clamp onto the hem of my jacket, stopping me midstep. "Wait a second. Do you really think I'm going to just let you walk off when you tried to damage my store? Kids these days."

Huh?

The rage was suddenly gone as the terror overtook me. Hold on- did he think I was purposefully trying to pummel the store? What was he going to do? I didn't want to go jail. Part of me had promised to stay out of real trouble. Hadn't the reason I had come back here was to stay away from actually becoming an aggressive rebel? I guess it didn't matter to him. He was judging me, telling me I was trouble. A danger to something or someone other than myself. And while I didn't doubt that it might as well have been true, now was not the time I wanted to realize such a dark thought.

I allowed him to lead me into the store as I prayed to a deity I didn't even believe in to cut me some slack. I was just hurt. Nothing that wouldn't pass with a little bit of time. Please, don't let mom or Tadashi find out about this. They knew this wasn't the real me. They would look at me, so disappointed and-

"Oi." The guy from before had finally released his grip on me and was now staring inquisitively at me. I raised my shoulders, perturbed by the annoying attention he was giving to me. Well? Wasn't he just going to call the cops and get this over with? Instead, he pointed to a few unopened boxes to our right before holding a safety opener out to me. "If you have enough moxie to stand outside my shop and land a punch on it, why not try putting all that damn energy to something more worthwhile and refill these snacks before all the teams get out of practice?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why don't you do it by your goddamn self? I'm not your slave."

"Why don't I call the police on you for harming public property?" He spat back, smiling in victory as I recoiled at the word police. The last thing I needed was a public disturbance charge on my oddly clean track record, and at this point in time, I knew staying out of any serious trouble was a key to showing my mother that the move hadn't been for the worse. I growled, knowing that he obviously had the upper hand here, offering him a disgruntled shrug as an answer. "Now get to work. Those shelves aren't going to fill themselves."

And I filled them, though with some unrestrained cursing for the good part of an hour. I couldn't understand why this guy was doing what he was doing. If he thought I was such a nuisance to his shop, why the hell was he letting me in here to touch his stuff? It jarred my mind. People like him made no sense. They were the real troublemakers out in the world. Level-headed, goal oriented people like me? Not even close.

It didn't take long to fill the small section of shelves he had ordered me to fill. The sweet and savory snack bars easily fit into the racks allotted for them, and outside of having to rip open a few boxes- mind you, not an easy feat when wearing a damn skirt the school deemed as a uniform- it went smoothly. I had time to breathe, to let out the anger that was bottling inside of me in an outlet that was positive, productive.

And that's when I knew I had been swindled. But in a good way.

All along, that had been the guy's intention. Not getting me to do some unpaid work for him, but to let me calm down in a way I wouldn't have expected. And for a moment, I was floored. Floored that someone wasn't looking at me and trying to accuse me of something just based on my appearance. That someone- a stranger, even- was watching my back, trying to reassure me that they understood in some fashion what I was going through, and wanted to help.

The tears pricked my eyes as I stood to my feet. Words were flowing in my head, wanting to thank this guy for this untimely act of kindness. The thanks was growing with every step I took towards him, but when I finally stood at the front checkout counter across from him, they suddenly shriveled up. Not because he was looking at me in some rude or aloof away, but because that look- one I'll probably remember until the day I die- said he understood it all. And that no thanks was needed.

"You did it correctly?" He was waving nonchalantly towards the rack of snack now. "I really don't want to go back there and check it myself."

"I did." I managed through gritted teeth. Well, there went the warm feeling of thanks. "Anything else you need me to do? Or can I call the cops on you for having a minor work without hiring her?"

He blinked for a second before belting out a loud laugh. His lips were pulled in a wide grin, and I could tell he was savoring my forced hostility with as much enjoyment as any lunatic could. "Go ahead, if you really feel like it. You sure got a lot of moxie, don't ya?"

I rolled my eyes. "You would know."

He grinned, shrugging again as he stood to his feet. I was ready for him to point me towards the door, tell me to stay away from his shop, and send me on my merry way. But he merely pointed in the other direction, shooing me towards the covered doorway as he started to yell over my shoulder. "Hey ma! Get this pipsqueak some real food! She almost passed out into the store."

I raised an eyebrow at him, but he was already moving around the store too far to see me turn around. Part of me knew I could just walk out and leave his compassion at that. But with a sigh, I realized how much of an ass I would be if I did. He was merely offering me another offer of peace, so what could I do? Be polite and do as he asked.

His mother was a wrinkly old lady who seemed so different from her son that I pitied her immediately. I knew from experience must have been a harsh realization that her son was probably not what she thought he would be. My own mother had often laughed about how many of her dreams I had broken up until this point, and I had a feeling a lot more would be broken in the future. She always wanted one of those frilly, silly daughters every mother dreams about having, and no matter how much she enforced that gender stereotype on me, I shattered them with a new level of weird and out-of-the-box.

By now, she must have just shrugged it all off and thought "to heck with it all." It didn't stop her from trying to buy me overly cute things, however, but hey, if it made her happy, I begrudgingly went along with it when no one else was around to see me be that way.

The shopkeeper's mother was plucking at my clothes, clucking loudly as she noted how baggy they looked. It was the smallest size the school carried, and even after toiling for hours trying to shrink them, it had made a small dent – if any, now that I think about it- to the overall circus tent that hung across my skin. She must have believe her son's words, and pointed me towards a stool in the back of the kitchen. I obediently sat, watching as she dipped a ladle into a steaming pot then into a bowl.

She fished a wrapped rice ball out of the fridge before shoving it and the now manageably hot broth into my hands. I was ordered to eat, and eat all of it, or I would never leave her kitchen. And that, unlike the joking taunts her son had tossed at me, was a serious threat indeed. I managed to chomp down half of the rice ball as voices wavered on the other side of the wall, and I merely listened as the old lady began working on another set of rice balls. It was pretty nice; it almost felt like the times I had seen my grandparents when they were still alive.

By the time I actually finished my food, lost in the whole mix of activities going on around me, I had somehow or another been invited to help finish preparing the food for the influx of kids expected to flock the store once practices were over for the afternoon. I was a little aloof to help; in our house, we usually went by with whatever quick meal mom or I could prepare when we had the time or energy. Which meant more often than not, after going to Tadashi's house, I had to stop by a convenience store to grab an already made meal and call it an evening. So when it came to my actual cooking skill, I'm sure it was more harmful than helpful in a situation like this.

All that ended up happening was me stirring the ingredients to fill some of the rice balls with while granny stirred the pot she had been monitoring since I stepped into her kitchen. She didn't say much to me, other than to give directions as to when I deviated from her meticulous style of cooking. Not that mixing should have been that much of a difficult task, but hey, when an old wrinkly woman is yelling at you with all the gusto her elderly body can muster, you almost forgot you were cooking and not a new recruit in the army.

After a while, she gave me a good look over and shooed me out the door. I blinked, thinking she had finally got fed up with my obvious lack of cooking skills, but as she smiled lightly and told me to come back soon, I knew it hadn't been that. A small smile formed on my face too, and after giving her a polite response, I ducked back out of the kitchen and into the store.

Her son was sitting at the front counter again, watching a few students who were milling in the distance with tired diligence. His eyes flitted over to me as I stopped at the far edge of the counter, and a tight lipped smirk pulled at his lips. I rolled my eyes, knowing he probably wasn't too pleased to see me again, and stood as bored as I could to keep him from thinking that this shitty afternoon had actually taken a turn for the better.

"Thanks for the free meal." I quipped. I watched him shrug for a moment before starting to walk by the door. "I'll be sure to pay you back sometime, ok? I'd don't like owing weird douchebags any favors."

He laughed loudly, turning some of the heads of the people still in the store. I didn't have to turn to know he had a smug, punk-ass smile on his face. "Sounds good. Try not to punch any other buildings on your way home ok?"

I waved absentmindedly. "I'll try punching some babies instead."

But trust me, I didn't need to punch any babies. There was this gratefulness blossoming in the cold heart I thought had been ripped out years ago, warming me like a nice toasty hug from Tadashi. It was the beginning of a long journey I hadn't know I was going down at that point, engulfing me, Unkai, Tadashi – and god, do I admit? Yeah, that damn asshat Tsukki too- in one big web so strange only fate could have weaved it.

Looking back on it now, it still makes me smile. That even in one of my lowest moments, there was someone there to help be regain my footing and show me that even if life gets tough, someone somewhere has been in your shoes.

**AN: Hooray for another chapter! Thank you to everyone who has read this far, and a very special thank you to all the people who left comments. You are the people I write for, and knowing you enjoy the crazy words I spew makes me a very humble and thankful writer. ~ E.F.**


	3. Chapter 3

Dispelling the Clouds

Chapter 3

Returning the favor with Ukai was probably one of the best decisions I ever made.

That first day had been much like the time he had helped me out, and the calm way he left me be after we quipped like a bunch of arrogant idiots was- ironically- a soothing balm to my anxious mind. He never asked questions, and I never offered much of my own. It was a brief window of time I had to recollect myself after a grueling day of classes, avoiding people, and giving Tsukishima as many foul mouthed curses as I could muster. I needed the time, I came to realize, more than just a chance to thank Ukai.

And as I came to understand how much of a refresher it was the more I started to come by the shop more and more often. Ukai had made heavy jokes about it at first, threatening to kick me out as time went on and I kept stopping by once Tadashi and Tsukishima had left for practice, but once he understood I would come in and sit for hours and be calm if he gave me the chance shut him up for sure.

I think in some sense, that weird ass enjoyed my company as much as I did his. He made sure to have things ready for me as soon as I stepped through the door, and offered some insight into some stuff even when I didn't ask for it. He usually brushed off my own comments for him to leave me the hell alone and to stop smoking- I threatened that if I got sick from the second-hand smoke he was making me choke down, I'd take him to an earlier grave than he was digging for himself- but took things to heart. The smoking was limited to one or two in the store, and he usually moved away to a different corner so it wasn't all conglomerating in the space between us.

But trust me, I understood why he needed a cigarette or two.

Every afternoon, like clockwork, a dorky looking guy in a suit would trek into the store, and beeline his way to Ukai. I thought at first, there must have been something deeper going on than this odd charade of banter going on between them. I had seen the guy before in the school- at first, I had thought he was a senior, until I noted the suit he was wearing and the portfolios he was trying to juggle under his arms. It was hard to believe a pipsqueak like him was actually a teacher- he looked like he still needed a good dose of puberty to help him grown into his body.

But I had to give him one thing: he was persistent as hell.

He would beg as kindly as he could without sounding pathetically whiny for Ukai to come coach the volleyball team. I was supremely interested as first, perking up at the sound of guy's volleyball, knowing it had something to do with Tadashi's wellbeing. But when Ukai flatly refused him every time, I lost interest, knowing he meant what he said. I didn't blame him. Just because his grandfather had been a coach, and even the fact that the punk himself had played the sport didn't mean he owed this new team any special feelings.

Still, I knew his resolve had been crumbling from the first time the advisor had come in.

Not that it had anything to really do with volleyball. I think this pathetic loser saw something interesting in the dorky dude more than just his tenacity and perseverance. I had to smirk as I watched him eying the guy with intrigue as he left, and knew that the poor dude was crushing. And crushing bad.

Which is why I think he started using me as a shield when the advisor kept coming despite his flat-out refusals.

I was stacking a new display for flavored pocky when I heard him clambering out of the front kiosk over to me. I usually ignored him when he got finicky like this, but when he invaded my personal space, it was a little harder to do than usual. "Oi, oi." He clamped his hands on my shoulders, pushing me back step by step until I was standing at the kiosk. "Take over for a few minutes."

I turned to look at him before crossing my arms. "Why?" I couldn't help but smirk at his slightly panicked expression. "Is it time for your boyfriend to stop by?"

"Fuck off, you little prick." Even his insult fell flat as he scanned the clock. "Just sit here and pretend to be in charge, ok?" He was fumbling with his apron, cursing as he couldn't untie the knot quick enough. "Oh this shit is s- ah ha!" He got the knot undone, and was tossing the green material into my face. "Put this on, sit right there, and do not- I swear to god Hiromi- tell him I'm here."

I was swatting at the apron, glaring at him with venom. "And what exactly do I profit from this?"

He was rubbing at his temples, hissing as he failed to think of a good enough response to my question. "Listen, I don't know right now. But I'll think of something." He clapped his hands together and bowed his head slightly in plea. "Just do this for me, ok?"

"Fine." I grumbled before putting the apron on. "But just know I'm using this as leverage for anything else you try to swindle me into."

"Eck," He grimaced. "I should have known you'd fucking spew some underhanded shit like that, but I really don't have the right to say no, huh? Fine. Whatever. Just.. call for me when he's gone."

I was already moving to sit, so I waved at him absentmindedly. "Sure, sure. Whatever you say, lover boy."

He choked out something that was supposed to sound like a refutation to that, but he stumbled two syllables in and gave up with a growl. I laughed loudly- mostly out of sarcasm than actual enjoyment, though I was enjoying this- as he tromped off, arms raised slightly with clenched fists and ears tinted an ungodly shade of red, swatting at the entryway into the kitchen with extra vigor.

And like clockwork, as soon as he disappeared, the front door chimed and the advisor stepped in.

"Welcome." I said drolly, scanning the manga Ukai had left on the counter as the guy approached. I knew he was watching me with interest- maybe a mix of surprise that I was a student, my appearance, or more importantly, the fact that I wasn't Ukai- and when he stopped wordlessly at the other end of the counter just inches away from me, I could tell he was at a loss as to what exactly was happening. I closed the book with a small sigh, turning to look into his dorky face with a thinly stretched smile. "Can I help you with something, sir?"

"Ah," He was rubbing at the back of his head now, and I could only watch with restrained humor as his eyes darted back and forth beneath his thick-rimmed glasses. "Is Ukai-san not in charge today?"

I shrugged, motioning to my apron and spot behind the counter. "If he was, do you think I would be here?"

He laughed hesitantly. "No, I suppose not." There was a moment after he paused when he frowned. "I'm sorry. I must have been too persistent with my pleas that he's having to avoid me."

I had to resist laughing. This guy was right on the money, but not really for the reasons I knew Ukai had chosen to run. Part of me knew I should just give him a brief apology and send him on his way, but I really did feel for him. I admired him in some odd sense, and knew that Ukai was just doing this to try to figure out his own feelings on the matter.

"I think you just need to give him a little space." I offered, raising my hands in truce. His expression quickly changed to one of awed shock, as if he wasn't expecting the words to tumble from my mouth. And in all honesty, I wasn't expecting them either. "If he really didn't want to do it, he would have barred you from the store after your third or fourth attempt. So don't think him not being here is a bad thing."

I looked down, a little embarrassed and mad at myself for putting myself into the whole predicament. I had no right to interfere, but damn it, even if Ukai was going to be a coward, I wasn't. That wasn't in my personality, nor did I think the guy standing on the other side of the counter deserved it.

But when I glanced up, and saw his exuberant expression, I knew I had done the right thing. "Thank you." He dipped his head courteously, making me even more embarrassed. "We just had our roster for first line up come out today so I've been on edge about being able to provide the best we can for our players. But maybe I'm rushing the inevitable. I'll be back tomorrow then."

"S-sure." I coughed, turning my attention to the manga. I willed myself to act cool and detached, flipping a page as he continued to watch me. "Have a good afternoon."

I felt in pretty good spirits as I left the store that afternoon and trekked my way over to Tadashi's house. Ukai had been a little peeved that I hadn't deterred the guy, but I think he was a little relieved to know that the guy wouldn't give up without a fight, despite everything he threw at him. He did give me an earful for not scaring him off with my own punk-ass fury, but I knew he was only joking.

Because what else would explain the butt-ton of snacks he sent me away with as thanks?

I couldn't help but think about Tadashi, and his position in the club as I settled myself in his room a little after that. The guy had said that the first line up had come out today, which meant Tadashi probably got assigned a secure position on the team. I knew from what he said that only four freshman had joined the team, so there was definitely a clear shot for him to pick a position he was good at and show everyone, like I knew, that he had the heart of a lion and would prove his pride as a player when the team needed him in every single game.

He walked in a few hours later. I had been playing an old school game I had liked as a kid on one of the vintage systems he owned, managing a quick hello to him as I grumbled a string of irritated commands to my character on screen. The dungeon was littered with mirrors and opposite pathways, and if you didn't keep track of what path you'd already taken, you pretty much had to start from the beginning. I thought, in my own concentration, that he had muttered a quiet one back, so I kept going, only to realize that I took the wrong path again.

"Damn it." I laughed, hitting the pause button so I could break for a much needed stretch. He was quietly walking in the back of the room, probably putting his things away from practice, and I doubted he was paying much attention to me. He sometimes got like this; he would be so wrapped up in events of his practice that even with me here, he was miles away in his own mind. "This isle is so goddamn annoying." I swiveled to look at him, making a face when I thought he would turn. "Do you know how many times I'v-"

_Oh god_.

The thought hit me square in the chest when I noticed the tears streaming across his downcast face.

My jokes about the game were about a million miles away as I scrambled to my feet. He was frantically scrubbing at his freckled cheeks as I moved to grab his right bicep under one of my hands. My breath was frantically keeping time with my heart as I stood frozen in place. I tried to calm the million echoing thoughts rippling into one another inside my head, but they only seemed to intensify as his own lachrymose continued. I was moving despite myself, rubbing at his arm as gently as I could. The tears were streaming harder down, and even if he moved his other arms to cover his eyes, I could read the look on his face as clear as day.

It was one I had seen so often as children. He was defeated and trampled, bravely wearing his heart on his sleeve for me to see.

I led him to his bed, letting him sit on the edge as the tears started to quiet into fat droplets that fell every once in a while. He hiccupped every now and then, and moved his hands to press at the bottom of his nose where the tears and snot were accumulating. My heart was screaming at me to ask him what had happened, and how many asses I had to kick before the night was over, but all I could do at that moment was rub small circles onto his back with my hand and look away, trying to process what the fuck had just happened to make him burst into tears within seconds of seeing me.

"Sorry." He managed after the tears ended a minute or so beforehand. His eyes were downcast, and every aspect of his body language was screaming defeat. I hadn't seen him look this way in a very long time, and part of me wished I never would. Those clenched fists in the material of his pants, his pained irises drilling into the nothingness just beyond where we sat, his shaking shoulders- I would have pay eternity and a day to prevent the universe from letting him feel this way ever again. "I-I just had a horrible afternoon. All the freshman made the first line for the team. Except me." He paused to give me a pained smile. "Pretty pathetic, huh?"

All I could do was frown for a moment.

"Don't talk like that." I whispered harshly, afraid that if I spoke with the true extent of my emotions, I would send the poor kid into tears again. "Didn't you try your best? Didn't you go to practice with your all, and enjoy it?"

"But what does it matter if I can't prove to anybody what I'm worth?" He mumbled back, sighing into the silence. "Will it ever matter if I'm always stuck in the background?"

"Your spot on the team has nothing to do with your worth." I shot back, looking at him heavily. He blinked, giving me a shocked gaze back as it registered in his senses. "Are you the only one who stayed behind? Don't you think those others who didn't make the string feel the same? They acknowledge you, Tadashi. They admire the pride you put into your practice, I know it, because if they didn't they wouldn't have let you join the team to start with. So if you give up now, what does that say? That you'd throw away all the hard work you put in just because you reach some kind of wall?"

"No!" He softened his voice as I flinched at the unexpected loudness of his answer. "No. I-It's just that.."

"I know you're hurt." I quietly offered as his sentence trailed off. I wrapped my arm around him, and placed my head on his shoulder. "And I'm sorry- I really am- that you didn't make a starting position. That you have to feel like this. Because I know how hard you've been trying, and how much potential you have. So please," I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing I was on the verge of tears myself. I hated to see him hurt, and part of me knew my words could only mean so much in regards to the emotions he was feeling. "Just let it all out today, and move forward tomorrow. That's all anyone can ask of you."

He shook his head. "I'm trying, Mi. I really am. But there's only so many times you can be kicked into the dirt before you feel like you belong to just stay there."

"I don't think you belong there." I offered with a small smile. It was true, from the very core of my being. "And god forbid it, but I think that anus-cake Tsukki thinks the same thing. So we'll be there to pull you up and out to stand where the grass is green. So don't think that way anymore. You're worth more than those self-deprecating thoughts."

He snorted. "When you say it like that, it's kind of hard to say no."

"And don't make me repeat myself." I shuddered in distaste. "Just saying something nice about that blonde devil makes me sick as it is, so you know I mean it."

"Tsukki isn't that bad."

I made a sound of disgust. "That's your opinion, not mine." I raised my eyes to look at him for a moment. "But are you ok now? No more crying, right?"

"Yeah." He nodded before giving me a pained, lopsided smile. "It's kind of embarrassing for you to have to watch a guy cry, huh?"

"Not really." I managed with a small laugh as I removed my arm from his back. "You used to do it all the time, so I guess I've just gotten used to the fact that you'd always be that way. Not that it ever bothered me to begin with." I jumped off the bed, patting off my skirt as I kept my gaze to the floor. "You're perfect just the way you are."

He was silent for a few moments that followed, and I froze, retracing what I had just said with a grain of salt. Sure, saying something like that when we were kids was fine. You could say what you meant and the other would take it as it was with little extra thought. But we weren't kids, and saying something like that meant a little more than it used to.

At least to me it did. Because I meant every word more now than I ever did as a kid.

And when he stood, I thought I was going to have to give him some kind of explanation. Why I thought the way that I did, even to this day. But I couldn't explain myself. Not so much because I didn't want to, but because I knew how vulnerable it would make me. It would be the undoing of the Pandora box of feelings I had repressed year after year after year when I had to finally grow up.

But what he did instead shocked me just as much.

One of his arms gingerly wrapped itself around my shoulders, while the other moved down across my torso to complete the hug. I could only stand as I was, with my hands at my sides, stuck in place as he squeezed me in one slow movement. My mind was blank, void as I felt him dip his head as he readjusted himself to the difference in our height.

Sure, there had been a few quick hugs as goodbye when I left his house and headed home in the past, but they were so quick I usually didn't dwell on anything about them.

But this time was different.

I could feel every inch of him pressed against me, lining up so perfectly it was striking to think that there actually was a sizeable height difference between us. I could smell that all so familiar smell of his skin and feel the warmness of it after having to walk home under the heat still present even now in the evening. His hair was tickling the side of my face, so soft and long it left a whispering touch even after it left my skin. His chest was heaving against my own, breathing out when I breathed in, so much so that it felt like we had always been in synch with each other like this. That our bodies made two parts of one bigger whole that I had always pushed away as romantic stupidity.

But when he held me like that, so gentle like he might break me but so sure like he knew this was something he had done a million times before, part of me knew it wasn't stupid. It was real and vibrant, filling my heart with something I knew I shouldn't want.

Or more importantly, something someone like me shouldn't need.

Part of me was screaming for me to stop being such a hardhead and hug him back. To hold him just as gently, to feel every inch of him until I thought I would burst from this strange feeling swarming my senses, willing me to nuzzle my face into his bare neck and be intoxicated by his scent until I was weak in the knees.

But the other part of me, the darker part I had learned to listen to in the last few years, was telling me that it was something I could never have. Because the person I used to be no longer existed, and the dreams I had once made could no longer exist. To him, this might merely be a hug, but to me, it would always be something more.

And in the end, it was that side that one. It left me rigid and on edge, angry at myself and terrified of Tadashi.

He released me, only to flush as he realized how awkward the whole exchange had been. "I-I-m sorry." He mumbled hurriedly, frantically moving his eyes to look anywhere but my own face. "I didn't m-"

"Don't apologize." I cut in flatly, guilty that my own stubborn refusal had bred that kind of response in him. "You didn't do anything wrong, Tadashi."

He really hadn't. I was the one who was strange- the one who couldn't accept reality as it came.

"Oh." His face fell. "Oh, ok. If you say so."

I knew I should be the one apologizing. I should have told him that I was an idiot, an afraid to let my own feelings out of the padded metal box I kept them under tight supervision in.

But the seconds began eating away any plausible pause I could have taken. It left me robbed of any chance I had to fix the rift that was starting to form between us. The common ground we were standing on was crumbling beneath my feet, pulling him further away from me. Away from the honest reaction I should have minutes ago.

"Listen, I have to go." Like usual, I was rushing to put myself as far away from the problem as possible. "I-"

_Shit._

I stumbled to find a coherent reason as to why I had to leave at that specific moment in time. It didn't matter. I just shook my head with a sigh at my own inability to do shit the right way, grabbed my bag, and sauntered out of his room and out of the house.

The tears didn't fall until I was a good few blocks away.

I swiped them away with an angry growl, hating that I reverted to feeling so shitty so quickly. The guilt welled up in my chest that in the end, I had probably made Tadashi feel worse than he had before he even stepped into his room. Poor kid was probably mulling around, trying to think of every single thing he did that had made me so miserable.

Not to mention the fact that I had probably botched any plausible reason for him to ever think of getting close to me.

The isolation had made it easy for me to understand that I would always be alone, and that people would pass me by. But when it came to the people I wished would stay with me, walking beside as I struggled to figure out my damn way out of the darkness, it was times like this when I realized it made simple things so much more complicated that they needed to be.

I wanted people to stay. I wanted friends, people to laugh with, and just the fucking decency to have people acknowledge that I was alive. People to remind me that existing wasn't a bad thing. That was a normal thing to desire right? Friendship, happiness- maybe even love?

But I feared, just as the tears returned, that one day those protective feelings were going to fuck everything up so badly that I really would be all alone, no thanks to anyone but myself.

**AN: Woo! Yay for awkward teenagers who make a mess of things. We've all been there, right? I just wanted to give a large thanks to all the people who are taking the time to read this. As always, I am very humble for all your remarks and views. ~E.F.**


	4. Chapter 4

Dispelling the Clouds

Chapter 4

There was only one word that could describe the feeling between Tadashi and me now: Awkward.

Every time we passed each other in school, or happened to be in each other's company for more than a few seconds, it was uncomfortable.

No, scratch that. It was miserable.

His eyes would always shakily move from one side to another as he offered me a kind thought or two, and I would try my best to not sound like an ass in return. And that would be that. We stopped spending time in the afternoons together- more so because I couldn't swallow my pride and just tromp over to his house when I had nothing better to do than him not welcoming me- and that lack of one-on-one time just made every smaller interaction unbearable.

I told myself to stop being such a prick and just apologize for making things strained, but my pride wouldn't let me. Not when that douchebag blond was drinking in every failed interaction we had with a demonic sense of pleasure.

Part of me knew not to pay Tsukishima any mind. He was a sadist who enjoyed watching good people suffer, and had probably sold his soul to the devil a long time ago. I doubted he actually cared that me and Tadashi had fallen off the tracks so quickly. It meant he had less time to interact with me, and therefore, less time to feel like the unwanted piece of shit he really was.

But when push came to shove, and he crossed the line I tolerated him nagging me with, I was too irritated and strained to leave him be.

I had been walking back from the library near the end of our lunch break when I had heard Tadashi call out to me. Like usual, whenever I had a free moment to rid myself of the assholes in my class, I took the chance and ran with it. I ate my lunch as I walked, and spent the rest of my time daydreaming in a small, dusty corner that blissfully smelled like old paper. "Mi!"

I turned, dropping the scowl on my face to give him a tiny, tight-lipped smile. But that soon fell when I noticed the blond eying me coldly just beyond where Tadashi stood in the hallway, waving me over with the free hand that wasn't holding his bento.

"Are you just now getting back from lunch too?" He was being a little kinder than usual, and I almost recoiled at seeing him trying so hard. I knew the strain must have been as hard on him as it was on me, and knowing he was trying to get us back to where we used to be made me grateful. "You should come eat with me and Tsukki tomorrow. The weather's really nice up on the roof, and I think tomorrow will be the same."

"Oh," I was stumbling to piece together something not asshole-ish to say to him. It wasn't that I didn't want to each lunch with him. I didn't want to eat with him and Tsukishima. "No, thanks."

People were eying us in the hallway, dropping their voices to whispers as Tadashi flushed in mortification. "Y-yeah, I guess not." He squeezed a lopsided smile as he tried to play it off. "You must have a group of girls you'd rather eat with, huh?"

I was about to tell him I hated my own gender as much as anyone could when Tsukishima took my brief pause to put his own two cents in. "I doubt she has any female friends. She's way too masculine to be taken seriously." He paused to smirk devilishly at me. "Aren't I right, Hiro?"

Oh that did it.

No one ever shortened my name to the masculine kanji that made it up. Not my family, not Tadashi, not anyone. Because they knew that while I chose to be ungirly, it didn't mean I was a guy. And him degrading me so effortlessly like he thought it was funny was about to be a rude wake-up call.

I stomped over, shoving Tadashi out of the way so I could tightened my fists into the shitface's jacket. "What the fuck did you say, you little punk-ass bitch?"

He didn't seem fazed by my venomous reaction. "You heard me. I wouldn't be surprised if you were hiding a dick under that skirt."

And that's when I snapped.

I smacked the side of his face so hard I could feel the reverberation tunneling through his ear and across his cheeks. The shock on his behalf gave me just enough time to swivel my leg and plant it right in his groin. His golden eyes bulged as I pressed my foot there, smashing his poor manhood with as much unrestrained power as I could send into my leg.

And when I jumped back, he fell, clutching at his bruised groin with a painfully venomous expression.

I smirked in victory.

And it only took three seconds for the feeling of satisfaction to wear off.

"Hiromi!" Tadashi's voice was ringing like a panicked mother's when he watched Tsukishima writhing in agony on the floor. He glanced at me, fearful of my spiteful reaction, before squatting on the ground beside the writhing blond. "Oh my god. Tsukki, are you ok?!"

His reaction reminded me that I had knowingly hurt another person to the point of excruciating physical pain. And that I was now in very deep shit with both of them.

The warning bell chimed, and I dashed down the hallway, running with my tail between my legs like the coward I really was. It wasn't so much so that I regretted what I did to the blond. That prick had that kick in the groin coming for a long time now. It was that horrified look on Tadashi's face when he looked at me, so blatantly surprised that I would stoop to such a level in response to such a petty joke.

I found myself praying that I wouldn't find myself dead by the time school was over. That dumbass blond was probably doing some kind of demonic ritual right now to have my soul snatched out of my body. I'd count myself lucky if that was the least of it. And knowing Tadashi, he'd never speak to me again. Normal people didn't do stuff like that and expect to stay friends. But hey, if he still thought up until that point that I was normal, he was probably too kind for me anyhow.

The end bell rang, and I crammed all my practice books into my shoulder-bag and sat still for a few minutes. Part of me knew that if I left now, there was a very high chance that I would run into Tadashi, Tsukishima, or more likely both of them. And I knew I didn't have anything to say. Because I had done what I knew was right. Or maybe not.

Most people had filed out of the classroom by the time I left. A few stragglers were there, eying me with interest as they finished their duties or kept the gossip ball rolling between the others crowded around them. I'm sure they were talking about me. Every lifted gaze and suppressed giggle had to be directed at something, and that something was me.

I brushed off their taunting with a shrug. They talked about me like they talked about anything else that varied from the mold. And one day soon, when they grew bored with that, they'd stick to bitter undercutting each other for a higher place in the pack. That's how all groups worked. Especially with girls. One false move, and it spread like wildfire.

People were always like that. Inviting you to join their group, then using every little second they had away from you to stab you in the back. You learn to stop wanting friends after a while. You learn to stop trusting people who hide behind fake smiles and even faker words.

Which is why I liked Tadashi so much. He was an open book- a kid who wore his heart on his sleeve and didn't care to hide his emotions when things got messy. Even if he had self-esteem worse than most people, and put himself down more than I think he should of, he was the closest thing to a decent, caring human being I had met in my entire life.

So truth be told, I should have known that he would have interfered after my angry outburst at Tsukishima.

He was waiting right outside my classroom, fiddling with his hair as he stood awkwardly by the doorway. I watched his dark eyes dart to me as I was looking expectantly- albeit a little shocked- at him, only to mirror my gaze. His hand jumped to his side as he straightened, and I could tell from his trembling shoulders that he was forcing himself to do whatever it was he was doing.

"There you are." He offered a tiny smile. "I need to talk to you."

I crossed my arms, knowing that vague, six word sentence could mean a bunch of different things at this point. "About what?"

His smile faded into nothingness. "About what you did to Tsukki."

"He got what he deserved." I spat, growling as the anger hit me dead on. Was he really trying to berate me here? "You saw how he-"

"Mi, I'm not trying to excuse what Tsukki said to you." He raised a hand to silence me. I obliged him, knowing it wasn't nice to keep spitting senseless shit at him when we got like this. "We both know he overstepped a boundary he shouldn't have. But that doesn't mean I can excuse what you did either. The two of you need to apologize to each other, and promise not to do stuff like that to each other."

My temper flared at his scolding. I scoffed, throwing my hands in the air. "Oh, like hell am I going to apologize to that pissed-haired, pathetic piece of shit! I'd rather have a tea party with Satan in the hottest corner of hell than tell that smug bastard he didn't deserve a good kick in the groin from someone!"

"Why are the two of you always so stubborn?!" He raised his voice to match mine, only to pause as he watched me jolt. A frown pulled at his lips, and I knew he was disappointed with me. There was a brief shake of his head before he continued a little softer. "I didn't think this was really you, Mi. But maybe I don't really know you anymore. All this anger, you pushing me away, hating Tsukki- is this what you want? Is this how you turned out to be while you were gone?"

The questions hollowed into my body quicker and more deadly than a speeding bullet. His remarks hit the problem at hand right on the mark, and his accuracy to pinpoint my underlying motives left me scared shitless.

"No." I squeaked, hating that he made me so terrified with the quiet, painful way he spoke. It was true. "I-I'm not-"

"I know you're not." His hand lifted, but he left it outstretched in the space between us before lowering it back to his side. He shook his head before offering me an amiable smile. "That's why you need to apologize. Because I know that's the kind of person you really are."

There really wasn't a way to get out of it now.

"Fine." I mumbled. "But if that sorry ass doesn't apologize first, I won't say a damn thing."

"Pigs will probably fly before Tsukki says he was wrong." Tadashi confessed with a laugh as he led me down the hall. "But the least we can do is try."

I waited while he changed into his practice uniform, fiddling with my own in the few minutes it took for him to swap clothes. I hated to think that someone like that blond asshat was going to get anything close to an apology from me, but I couldn't deny that Tadashi had hit the nail right on the head. This wasn't me. I wasn't an angry, bitchy punk who used cheap methods to bring people to my level. I didn't particularly like Tsukki to begin with, but outside of the fact that he was a raging headache and annoyance, he wasn't the horrible villain I made him out to be.

So I guessed one apology would be fine. But it would be the only one he'd ever receive from me.

Tadashi was blushing profusely as I clapped, enthusiastically swearing he looked a thousand percent cooler in his dorky kneepads and short shorts. He was embarrassed by my sarcasm, but all he could do was shakily thank me before I busted out laughing at his timid response. God, this kid was a jewel. I knew he was pretty sensitive about stuff like that, but when I looked into his face, I guess it didn't really bother him as much as I thought it would.

"Sorry for being a few minutes late!" Tadashi ducked into a bow as we entered the gym. People had been moving around, their tennis shoes squeaking against the waxed wooden floor, and continued to do so despite his apology. He didn't seem faze that everyone was diligently going about their business of setting up or stretching, and when he extended a smile to me, I knew he was infinitely happier than he had been seconds ago. "Let me go get Tsukki. Knowing him, he saw the two of us come in and tried to hide."

"Sounds like that coward." I grumbled, rubbing at my left arm. The white noise was filling with voices, and the sudden thought of being alone without Tadashi to act as a shield made me uncomfortable. "Ok, go. But don't take too long. I-I don't like being alone with people I don't know."

He gave me a thumbs up before sprinting across the gym floor in search of the asshole in question. I tried my best not to look at anyone in particular, but I guess people were already staring at me. I had to look away every time a curious pair of eyes- male eyes, mind you- met mine, knowing that I really did stick out like a sore thumb here more than I did usually. They were probably talking about me, wondering what in the hell someone like me was doing in a place like this.

A set of hurried footsteps were coming towards me from the direction Tadashi had disappeared into. I looked up, thinking it was him dragging Tsukishima over to get things done with, but it wasn't him or the blond devil for that matter. Instead, two very punk looking guys were crowded around me, eying me with awe. The shorter one was surprisingly a little shorter than me, with a small Mohawk of bleached hair right over his forehead. The other was taller- much taller than the two of us- with a completely shaved head and a very heavy, almost formidable glare on his face.

"Hey punk." The taller glowered, cracking his neck as he held my gaze. "I got a question for you."

I met his gaze with a hostile one of my own. "What?"

"What I want to know-" His gaze slowly morphed from a scowl into a humorous smirk, hitting me instantly with its insatiable satisfaction. "Is how fast that bastard fell when you kicked him."

I could only gape for a second as his change in disposition hit me before returning the grin. "He hit the floor as soon as my foot lifted."

The two of them were laughing, moving to sling their arms around me in a strange, punk-ass welcome.

"Oh my god!" The shorter one was on the verge of tears as he split a look between me and his friend. "I can imagine. You got guts- for a girl, I mean. What's your name?"

"Kimura." I offered with a tiny smile. "Hiromi Kimura."

"I'm Nishinoya Yuu." The shorter moved to slap the baldie on the back. "And this tall jerk is Tanaka Ryosuke. We're both second years."

I attempted to duck into a bow. "It's nice to meet you, Nishinoya-senpai, Tanaka-senpai."

"Oh my god!" Tanaka was beaming, throwing his arms around me- which inevitably pushed his friend a few staggering steps back in recoil- until I was hoisted off my feet. "She called me senpai! Yuu, she called us senpai!"

I squeaked as he slung me around like I was nothing more than a sack of flour. Nishinoya was cheering him on, telling me how I should always call the two of them senpai from now on whenever I saw them. It was adorkable, but extremely ridiculous. They were so freaking happy I thought being called senpai was some kind of rite of passage guys had to go through, but I guess these dorks just didn't have a lot of underclassmen to talk to, so it was just an odd title they didn't have associated with them often.

"Oi, Ryuu, put her down." Nishinoya was chuckling from behind us. "It looks like Yamaguchi managed to get the kid out from his hiding place. This is gonna be good."

My eyes immediately landed on Tsukki when I was placed back on the ground. That irritated glare he usually had was magnified by about a hundred percent, making me feel even more on edge than I had minutes ago. Despite hearing Tadashi warning us gently to be nice to each other, I could tell from his rigid shoulders and scowl that he wasn't about to do that. And it scared me. To think that him pushing my buttons was going to make me erupt again in front of all these onlookers.

"She doesn't look too good." Nishinoya was scanning my face, before turning to look out at the gym around us. "We need some back-up, Ryuu." His face lit up as he caught someone, and started to yell to them. "Oi, Asahi! Come here for a second!"

There was a mumbled agreement, and soon a huge shadow fell over me. I looked up, squeaking as I saw this monstrously huge body dwarfing me two days to Sunday. He had to have been at least 200 centimeters. He scared the shit out of me at first, but as I gazed over his face, my initial scream morphed into a coo of surprise. The big oaf was offering me a gentle smile, and gods, he was gorgeous. I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks as Nishinoya and Tanaka were pushing him into the space between where I, Tsukishima, and Tadashi were gathered tensely, telling me to stand behind him for support.

"S-so," Asahi laughed, rubbing the back of his neck where the loose auburn bun of hair didn't reach. He glanced quickly at me, before at the other two guys. "What did you need me for?"

"Protect our underclassman!" Nishinoya ordered him. "Scare Tsukishina into giving her a good apology."

Asahi jumped, waving frantically at the smaller guy. "You know I'm no good with stuff like that!"

"I'm not apologizing to her." Tsukishima put in flatly.

I growled, readying a string of curses out towards him. "Yeah, because you're a pathetic wimp."

"Mi! Tsukki!" Tadashi was pleading now, gazing wide-eyed at the two of us. "Stop it, both of you! You're making things worse than it has to be."

"Yeah!" Tanaka put in, slapping a hand supportively around my shoulder. "You have to treat girls nicely, man. You can't go doing whatever you want to them like you would a guy!"

Nishinoya snorted. "I don't think you're setting a good example, Ryu."

"Oh!" Tanaka laughed, looking at me with a sheepish smile. "Sorry. I guess I'm no good with shit like this. Asahi, why don't you take over?"

"W-what?" The giant was fumbling again, blushing in embarrassment as the task was passed on to him. "I-I don't know. You-" He swallowed, moving to pat my head under one of his giant hands. It was delicate and light, as if he knew how much strength he held. "You do like this, right? And then you tell them you're sorry."

I could only flush as his hand remained on my head. He offered a shaky smile, before looking at the other guys, and dropped his hand as they murmured their growing approval. Nishinoya cheered him on. "Yeah, that looks about right!" His gaze shot out to the blond "Come on Tsukishima! Follow your senpai's lead and try it for yourself."

"Hell no." He spat, glaring at me. "There is no way-"

"Tsukki." Tadashi was pleading again. "If you don't instigate this, this will go on forever. Daichi and Sugawara are going to get angry if this cuts into practice, and we don't want that."

I couldn't help but wonder who these two upperclassmen were, but it elicited some kind of change in the blond. He rolled his eyes, glancing at floor with a scathing growl. "Fine."

Asahi kindly removed his hand from my head before stepping back to stand with Nishinoya and Tanaka. Tadashi pushed Tsukishima forward a few steps, only to have the blond bark at him to back off. I watched my freckled friend raise his hands with a sheepish smile, knowing he wasn't going to interfere. The blond sighed as we stood rigidly in front of each other, looking at his feet, then over to the floor.

I flinched as his arm lifted, but I told myself if I moved, he would think I was going in for another kick. So I stood still as he patted my head, leaving his hand on my hair as he rubbed it against my hair awkwardly. "Sorry." He muttered through pursed lips. I could tell he didn't want to say it, but he did mean it. "It's hard to tell what provokes you."

"You in general." I quipped back, only to wince as his hand tightened against my scalp. "Ouch! What the fuck?!"

His hand relaxed, though only slightly. "Where's my apology?"

"That's not how you go about it, you f-" I had to cut myself off when I caught Tadashi starting to panic beside us. After counting to five and letting out a heavy exhale, I continued. "I'm sorry for kicking you. Oh, and slapping the shit out of your face. As long as you don't treat me like that again, I won't act like that again."

"Doesn't sound sincere." He grumbled.

"Fine!" I crossed my arms. "I'm sorry Tsukishima. I really am. I-" The tears pricked my eyes. "I'm horrible with people, so I didn't like admitting that you were right. Okay? Are you satisfied now?"

He dropped his hand from my head, letting it flop back to his side. "I guess."

I could hear Nishinoya whistle low behind me. "Wow. That was probably the most awkward apology I've ever witness between a guy and a girl."

"Yeah, but," Tanaka was laughing beside him. "That's usually because it's two people who like each other trying to get back into good terms with one another. Seems these two are just doing it because Yamaguchi made them."

"Satisfied?" Tsukishima had turned to glance at Tadashi, who smiled widely in response. "Good. Now leave me the hell alone."

The blond sauntered off, looking as ill-boding as ever. Tadashi was shaking his head, but turned to look at me with a warm expression. "Thanks, Mi."

I shrugged, a little flustered that such a dumb thing had made him so happy. "Welcome."

"Oi, what's everyone crowding around the entrance for?"

The boys scattered like thieves caught red-handed, dashing away from the entrance until they were immersed in whatever it was they were supposed to have been doing.

I turned at the familiar voice, frowning as I noticed Ukai now standing in the gym. The dunce had finally gotten off his high horse and decided to coach the volleyball team, which left me in charge some days of the week at the store after school. He had been a little skeptical to make me an actual employee for the store, but in the end, he ended up giving me a few shifts to help cut into the absence he left as another employee filled the rest of his shifts. Thankfully, today was not one of the days I had a shift, but having to see him outside of that environment made me a little on edge. We hadn't really spoken much- since the days I didn't come in, he either wasn't at the shop or had someone else working in his place- and I guess in some sense, it made me miss him in a weird big-brother kind of way.

His lips curled into a smirk as the guys scattered to begin warming up. "Well, what a fucking surprise. The old lady sent you to spy on me, pipsqueak?"

"As if." I rolled my eyes. "What I do on my days off are none of your damn business. And Gram's wouldn't ask me to do something like that, though I should tell her how fucking atrocious you look in the bright red tracksuit."

"Fuck off." He joked, moving to sling an arm around me so he could muddle my hair with the other. "You're such an eyesore! Go away! Stop following me!"

"Ukai!" I laughed, trying to push him off of me. "You're a dumbass! Get off of me, and I'll leave, damn it."

He laughed too, but did as I asked. "I was just joking, punk. Since you're not needed at the shop, just stay and watch. Your boyfriend's on the team, right?"

I flushed, moving to fling a sloppy punch into his arm. "F-fuck you! Tadashi isn't m-"

"Sure he isn't." He put in slyly before I could finish. The clipboard that had been in his far hand came to smack me on the rump as he stood, walking over to the other side of the gym. "Come on. I can't delay practice anymore or we'll run late."

I grumbled a string of curses while rubbing my behind, knowing there wasn't any point in fighting with him. So after hastily limiting the distance he had put between us, I was following behind him to a bench. Two people were already sitting there. I immediately recognized the persistent advisor as the smiling guy, but the calm girl beside him was someone I didn't know. She was extremely pretty, and even the thick-rimmed glasses she wore didn't seem to diminish that. I guess she must have been one of those stuck-up girls who liked being around guys, but maybe not.

"Ah, the girl from the shop!" The advisor dipped his head in greeting as we stopped. "It's nice to see you again. Did your brother convince you to come see him coach?"

"Huh?" Ukai raised an eyebrow at me before giving a shudder. "Hiromi's not my sister. She's a pain in the ass that happens to work for me."

"Ukai-kun!" The advisor was gaping at him. "You shouldn't speak of her that way. It was my fault for assuming a familial tie between you. It's just that-" He paused to smile at me. "You two are very similar."

"Eck." Ukai scrunched his face in disgust. "This punk and I are nothing alike. Anyway," He gestured to the two sitting people. "Let me make some introductions. This guy you already met is Takeda. He's the advisor for the club. And the young lady sitting next to him is the manager, Shimizu Kiyoko."

"I-" The words wouldn't tumble from my mouth in time, and I flushed as I sputtered for a few moments. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Kimura Hiromi. Please excuse my interruption."

"It's a welcomed addition." Mr. Takeda assured me, before gesturing to the bench. "Please, have a seat. You have a few friends on the team, from the looks of it."

"Just one." I confessed, moving to sit beside Shimizu. She offered a curt smile as I mumbled an apology and dropped my schoolbag to the ground between us as I settled. "We grew up together."

"I see." He seemed to brighten at my honest answer. "Ukai-kun, will you get the practice started?"

I could tell that he liked hearing the way his name sounded from the advisor's mouth. "Sure."

The boys went through a variety of drills. They ran, spiked, and defended receives from all areas of the court, moving with precision and speed I knew I didn't have in my body. A few really stood out- the tall giant, Asahi, from before and two guys I recognized from a neighboring freshman class especially- and it was amazing to see how high these guys could jump, or how strong they could push a ball from one point of the court to clear across the gym.

Shimizu left and came back various times throughout the practice as she was needed to assist with setting or tossing balls for the line-ups. She was surprisingly kind to me whenever she was on the bench not taking notes, explaining in quiet sentences about the details of the game, and which positions each boy succeeded at. I listened with enthusiasm, because, what the hell, it really was interesting. Sure, from a naïve onlooker like me, it just looked like a bunch of guys chasing a ball in the air like a hot potato, but now, it was more than that. There were setters, middle blockers, aces, and liberos fitting into a pattern you needed to make the sport work.

I couldn't help but watch Tadashi. It was clear with the level of genius some of these guys had why he wasn't in the first line-up, but that didn't mean he didn't have some talent. He could toss and spike with ease, and his height made it possible to block many at-the-net attacks. Still, I knew sometimes I was watching a little too much, with a smile a little too noticeable to anyone looking at me, so I'd avert my gaze to Tsukishima to make the smile recede into nothingness. Surprisingly enough, I caught a few of the blond's own sidelong glances, though they were extremely short whenever our eyes met. I guess the prick was a little unnerved that I had stayed, but it didn't matter.

By the end of practice, I had to admit that I had had a pretty fucking awesome time. I liked being enlightened about things I didn't know before, especially when I knew the added knowledge was something people I cared about really enjoyed. I knew the sport wasn't for me- hell, no sport was really meant for someone like me who had the boobs of a larger girl and such a puny body- but it was interesting to see how guys of all sizes, and girls too, could make all their bodies work in unison to show their proficiency.

"Oi, Hiromi." I looked up just in time to see Ukai standing in front of me. He dropped a stack of sweat towels into my lap before jerking his head back to the sweat-drenched boys. "Help Kiyoko out with her duties. Doesn't seem right for you to have a lazy day while the rest of us work, right?"

"Asshole." I barked, only to see Mr. Takeda watching me in shock. I shut my mouth, a little peeved that I had the unbridled mouth of a sailor, and turned to glare at the punk in front of me. "Fine. I'm going, see?" I lifted the towels in my hand. "Now get out of my way."

He laughed, jokingly sashaying to the side so I could push past him. I could only roll my eyes at his antics, knowing he was probably trying his best to win a few points with the advisor while they could be alone. Ukai was pretty great, and especially after seeing him calmly building this team up with his expertise, I liked him a lot more.

I was stopped when Nishinoya and Tanaka hollered me over. They took a towel each, wiping at their sweaty faces before squirting a mouthful of water into their mouths. Both of them were grinning at me, thanking me for the towel.

"I-it's no problem." I was flustered, so unused to guys other than Tadashi talking to me so animatedly. "Anything for my senpais."

Tanaka wiggled with a suppressed sound of amusement. "God, it sounds great to be called a senpai, huh Yuu?"

"Damn right." The shorter guy puffed in pride. "But we are pretty great so it's only natural."

The other boys from the team were starting to crowd around, plucking a towel from my arms as they eyed me with curiosity before sauntering off to clean up the gym. I guess word had gotten around about what I'd done to Tsukishima, and the fact that I could debilitate a guy like him made them all a little skeptical about being around me. Still, they were all kind, adding a polite hello or thank you before walking off.

Except for one little orange haired boy. He had been yelling at a taller black-haired boy almost the entire extent of the practice, but turned to look at me with a wide-eyed look before plucking two towels off the stack. "You have pretty eyes." He admitted bluntly, blinking slowly to make sure he wasn't missing anything. "The colors- they're like bam! And woosh! It's cool."

I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks into my ears. People never complimented me- well, expect guys who had thought talking about my rack made them one step closer to getting into my pants- and the honestly kind comment left me completely flustered. My hazel eyes- a unique blend of blue, green, and flecks of gold- were thanks to my mixed blood, and usual made people unsettled with how large they were. "T-thanks. It's, uh, from my mom's side of the family."

"Is she a Westerner? They have such cool, big eyes!"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. From Australia."

"So cool!" He was beaming again before turning to toss a towel to his friend. "Kageyama, isn't someone on our team mixed too?"

The black haired boy next to him snorted, nodding off in the direction somewhere behind me. "Yeah. Yamaguchi is."

"I'm what?" I swiveled to see Tadashi reaching from behind me to grab the last two towels from my arms. He grinned at me, before handing the second towel to his blond shadow, who was looking at the floor between us.

"Shouyo was just saying how cool it is that you and your girlfriend are both mixed." Nishinoya informed him, grinning at me wickedly before flicking his gaze out to Tadashi as well. "I mean, you two are dating, right?"

I didn't have to turn to see Tadashi's cheeks flame. His tone said it all. "W-what?! No, n-no, no! Hiromi and I are just childhood friends. We've known each other since birth."

Tsukishima snickered.

And I was glowering at his asshole-ish nature coming back out so quickly, especially when it was directed at Tadashi.

Tanaka was shaking his head as he watched all three of us react the way we did. "Idiot." He turned to karate shop Nishinoya on the skull. "Way to make everyone fucking uncomfortable."

"It's fine." I waved my hand, knowing that a lot of people had gotten that idea when they saw the two of us together. Not that I ever bothered me to have people think we were involved in some way, but it was good to be honest with people when it happened. "We're oddly in-tune with each other, so it happens a lot. Don't worry about it."

"Everyone!" We turned to the sound of someone clapping their hands together. Takeda was standing up now, calling for the boys with a hearty wave of his hands. "Let's gather up and then finish cleaning up."

"Yes, sir." The answer was oddly in unison from all the boys.

I scurried to stand in Ukai's shadow, knowing I really wanted to hide in mortification from the turn the last conversation had taken. He tried to shake me off for a moment, but with every step he took, I moved in unison. He grumbled something as he finally noticed my beet-red face, standing still so I could neatly hide behind him. It was so embarrassing to have so many people take notice of me, and god, did they all have to be so fucking nice?

"Good practice, everyone!" Takeda seemed so chipper. Each of his happy words seem to bounce off every wall before settling into my ears. "I can see how hard each one of you is working. It won't be long until we have some real matches. Don't forget the practice match we have with a neighboring school soon. Keep your heads held high, and let out school fly again."

"You heard our advisor." A tall, dark haired guy turned to look at the team with a serious expression. From the look on his face, he must be the captain over the team. "Are we going to fly high?!"

"Yes!"

The loud cheer echoed from every boy standing, jolting me with how sure and confident they sounded as a group. It was clear that they all were sure of their abilities, and willing to take on any competitors that tried to tell them otherwise. Their aura was cocky or stuck-up by any means. It was refreshingly honest and pure-hearted; something I didn't think a group this size could all muster.

Before long they bowed to the three standing in front of me and moved to finish the remaining duties quickly. Shimizu stopped me with a small hand placed on my shoulder, giving a tiny smile before thanking me for stopping by to see the boys practice. I could only nod my head and thank her for letting me stay, a little surprised that the third year was actually talking to me.

I settled outside of the gym as the guys started to file out, going back into the building to change and head home for the evening. Part of me knew I could just leave then and be on my merry way, but something stopped me. Deep down, I really did feel better knowing that I had offered that blond asshole an apology. He didn't deserve the way I had treated him.

And neither did Tadashi.

The realization suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't apologize to him for making things as awkward as they had been between us.

So I made the decision then and there to try to do something to show him that I wasn't okay with the way I had let things drift away between us, when he had obviously been putting in effort to not let that happen.

I pulled out my phone and headphones, knowing that more than anything, I hated waiting in silence. The beats of the music poured into the background as I thought, mulling over idea after idea of what I could do to show him how I wanted to go back to the way things were. A simple apology seemed too bland, but doing anything else would make me uncomfortable. Damn it! Why couldn't there be a simple way out of this?

There really wasn't. The more I had dug myself into the hole we were both in, the more I had to do to get us back out.

The boys were emerging out of the building in little groups now, passing by without a second glance to me as they hurried excitedly to whatever it was their evenings held. Nishinoya and Tanaka did offer an animated wave as they strode off with the gentle giant from before and two other boys- one of whom I recognized as the team's captain and the smiley gray-haired boy that seemed to always be with him- and even Asahi turned to look at what had caught their attention and offered a flustered smile in parting. I could only blush at the attention the three of them were giving me; god, it felt so weird to have so many people be nice to me for no reason.

"Mi."

Even with the volume of the upbeat music I was listening to, I could hear Tadashi's voice clear as day. I lifted my face to see him and Tsukishima standing just beside me. The blond scoffed as I fished an earbud out, before raising his schoolbag higher on his shoulder to indicate that he was very impatiently waiting for me to get my shit together. I could only smirk; if the damn ass wanted to walk off, he could have. So by staying, he must have wanted our company more than his irritated glare would have warranted.

"How did you like our practice?" Tadashi offered as we began walking off.

I smiled. "It was pretty fucking awesome, if I'm being honest. You were all so freaking cool. Especially that little redhead. How the hell does he jump that high?!"

"We're still trying to figure out the physics behind that." Tadashi joked. Tsukishima just snorted, mumbling something under his breath. "And it looked like you had some fun too. Nishinoya and Tanaka seemed to take a liking to you."

I blinked, looking at his grinning face. "Really?"

Tsukishima looked over Tadashi's head to smirk at me. "Yeah. They kept trying to give Yamaguchi some r-"

His eyes suddenly widened in pain as something made him stumble. The blond thankfully righted himself as I watched in shock, but turned to give Tadashi a very loathsome scowl. I turned to look at him too, only to see the blush creeping over his cheekbones down towards his neck. The tiny freckles seemed darkened by the crimson hue, popping like tiny specks as he kept his gaze on the ground before him. What in the hell had gotten him flustered so quick?

"Oookay then." I drawled into the silence, watching the two guys awkwardly saunter beside each other. "Should I even ask?"

Tadashi shook his head again, but a little more quickly. "Please don't."

We rounded the bottom of the hill near the corner store before the situation lifted. The boys were murmuring between themselves as I fumbled with my phone, switching through a group of mundane songs I had heard too often on shuffle in the last few days. A rap song came on, catching my interest, and for a second, I let the melody override my senses until I was almost wiggling to the beat.

I blinked as the ten-second rift passed. Tadashi was waving his hand in front of my face, offering a small smile as I jolted back to reality. "You ok?"

"Yeah." I squeezed an apologetic smile. "Sorry. Were you talking to me?"

"Tsukki was just going to stop to get something to drink." He clarified. "Did you want anything?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm fine. I'll just wait for you guys out here."

"Go ahead, Tsukki." Tadashi passed the news to the blond, who was, surprisingly, waiting patiently as we conversed. "We'll wait out here for you."

The blond mumbled some sort of agreement before sauntering into the store. I watched Tsukki leave with disinterest, before turning to look at Tadashi as he did the same. And then it dawned on me that this was the first time we had been alone since his practice began. I knew that this was practically a godsend; if I didn't act now, there was no way in hell that I would get a chance to be alone with him in the next few days.

Too bad he beat me to it.

"Why don't we wait over there?" He gestured to the farthest edge of store before offering me a smile.

I nodded my agreement.

The two of us leaned against the sun warmed corner of siding, standing in silence as neither of us found the words to speak. My mind was swirling as the song changed to a softer, acoustic mix a solo artist did, trying to use the mood of the guitar to ease my transition.

Just do something.

My stomach churned.

Anything has to be better than nothing.

I knew he was watching me. So I did what came natural: I lifted the dangling headphone in his direction. "Wanna listen?"

He nodded, taking the wire from me with a grateful smile. We stood, stand by side, in the afternoon sunlight, listening to the mellow timbre of the guitar suite flood the silence we were wrapped in. I closed my eyes, relishing in the calm atmosphere the music created. I was gaining confidence from the feeling of the warm store against my back, the mellow light filtering down from the orange sunset, and the subtle presence of Tadashi just inches away from me.

And that's when I felt his hand brush against mine, breaking the calm atmosphere in a split second.

We both jumped as the very real and very unexpected shock passed up our arms from the brief contact. I flushed as Tadashi tried to scramble away, only to realize that the headphone jammed in his ear restricted him from moving at all. "S-sorry. That was my fault."

It was like the moment with the hug reliving itself all over again.

And if I made the same mistake now, there really would be no going back.

I stretched my fingers in the tiny gap between us until I found his. He jolted again at the contact, curling his fingers back towards his palms to try to cut the contact, but I moved faster. My fingers intertwined with his loosely, holding his hand against my own. His fingers were trembling as they slowly accommodated my own, but the fact that he was blew my mind.

"I should be the one apologizing." I could hear my voice shaking. Everything was shaking. I thought I was going to be sick. I hated feeling this weak, and the rare moments I had were ones I tried to force myself to speed up. But this was one I couldn't just fly through and expect good results. I took a deep breath, willing myself to continue. "I fucked shit up with you a while back. Knowing you, you've been thinking about it every day since." I dipped my head, squeezing my eyes shut. "Shit, I suck at this. I.." I could only shrug as the words alluded me. "I don't know. Maybe I'm a little too different. You don't really deserve feeling like shit because I can't function like a normal person."

He hummed speculatively. "I think you're reading into this all wrong. I'm not um.. feeling like crap- sorry, I can't cuss the way you and Tsukki do, heh- because you make me feel bad." He tilted his head with a tiny smile. "It's because I can't help but worry about you, you know?"

The realization dawned on me. All along, I thought I was the one carrying all the burdens, but here he was, doing his own share of worrying. He didn't feel like crap for himself- he felt like crap because he was worried about me. That he was trying to be there for me the way I was for him. I knew that he cared- if he didn't, he wouldn't have put so much effort into being so close to me- but it was now that I realized how much.

The tears stung my eyes.

This kid really was a freckled angel.

"You just need to trust me a little more." He continued a little quieter. "Sometimes I really don't know what goes on in your head. I know there's things you don't want to share, and I respect that. But just.. I don't know, be a little more open? Please?"

I did want to let him in.

All this time, I wanted to break down and tell him how hard the years we had been separated were. How much horrible things had happened to me, and how I lost my faith in humanity. How it hurt to see my mother crying herself to sleep for almost a year, and the sad shell of a woman she became as she struggled to pick up the pieces of our family when my dad left us for his new wife. How it felt to be one person living in so many different worlds, and how tired I was of being on edge all the time.

The words were pushing at my throat, lunging at the chance to finally be free from their dark abyss inside my heart. I knew he would listen, that he would understand.

But I was doubting myself. Who would I be once all that was in the open?

So I did what I did best: cower back inside of myself.

"Okay." I offered him a tight-lipped smile. "I promise."

I felt his hand squeeze mine gently. "Good."

The doorbell to the shop chimed, and we thankfully dropped our hands before Tsukishima see. The blond was carrying a bag in his hands, eying us as he ambled to stand in front of us. He swept his gaze from me- trying my best not to ruin the mood with a suppressed frown- to Tadashi, who had this genuinely peaceful look on his face. It shocked me- had our little chat been the reason for him looking so serene?

"Tsukki!" But just like that, he was back into the swing of his regular, almost hyperactive self. His lips flew into a huge grin, but he remained beside me with the headphone still plugged into his ear. "Get everything you wanted?"

The blond was quick to snap something in return. "Shut up, Yamaguchi." The comment, while scathing, did nothing but make my freckled friend's smile grow. Tsukishima clicked his tongue in dislike, rummaging in the bag until he was holding two cans out towards us. We both blinked in confusion, knowing he had only gone inside for himself. His scowl grew as he clarified. "The store made me go grab something as a prize for some promotion they were doing. Just take the damn drinks, you dumbasses."

While I didn't doubt what he said was true, the fact that he had thought to get us drinks instead of something for himself astounded me.

"Here." Tadashi passed the can of green tea to me and kept the black coffee for himself. "You hate coffee, right?"

I nodded lightly, aware of the headphone cable tugging between us, before taking the can. "Yeah. Thanks."

I can still remember the three of us walking home that evening, laughing and joking like we hadn't in weeks. Tadashi's face seemed so carefree, despite the curses Tsukishima and I still slung at each other, beaming with happiness I knew he needed. He was standing so close to me, keeping the earbud in his ear as I continued to shuffle through my playlist, and the blond sauntered at the same pace, though a good few inches on my other side.

We parted a little ways down near the center of the city. I lived in a more modern apartment with my mom while the two guys lived in a different direction that led to various areas of the suburb. Tadashi fished the earbud out of his ear and handed it back to me with a small grin that spoke more gratitude than him just saying it. I could hear Tsukki scoffing the space behind me, probably fed up with our newly mended bond than he let on. It didn't matter what he thought; the fact that everything was on its way to being normal was a kickass feeling that pushed everything else aside.

"You sure you don't want to come over?" Tadashi was tilting his head to give me his attention again. "Tsukki and I were going to trade in Pokemon, so you'd have the system all to yourself."

"As tempted as I am to finish that fucking dungeon," I smirked, ramming my elbow back until it collided with the blond's hard abdomen. "I think if I spend one more second with Tsukishima, I'm going to puke."

The blond pinched me back. "The feeling's fucking mutual."

"Okay, okay." Tadashi laughed as we readied ourselves for another battle. "Well, see you tomorrow morning then?"

I flicked the blond off before offering the other a genuine smile. "Definitely."

He paused for a second, before offering me a side-hug like he usually did. I normally would have just swooped into it for a few seconds and dashed off, but today, I decided to intentionally fix the stupid shit that had first gotten us into this whole scenario. I threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly- and probably extremely awkwardly, knowing me- until I thought I heard his back pop from the strain. His hands were somewhere in the air as this happened, but after a moment, he shakily returned the gesture, though without as much force.

It was our first real hug in god knows how many years.

And its filling warmth made me really regret being a self-deprecating ass about giving him one before.

We separated after Tsukki gave a loud cough. Tadashi's face was a burning crimson, and I knew for certain that mine was probably the same color or deeper. It was pretty pathetic that both of us could get so flustered over such a simple thing like a hug- god, people did that on a regular basis? I couldn't remember the last time someone hugged me outside of Tadashi- but hey, we were a bunch of dorks.

I dashed off before any of us could make the situation any worse. Part of me knew the blond was three seconds away from telling us to get a room or grow up, but I would never know. The smile pulling at my lips was probably the most fucking dorkiest one I'd ever made. For once, I felt alive. I felt giddy. God- I felt like a normal, teenage girl.

It made me realize that I had done the right thing. For Tadashi and myself. And that maybe, just maybe, things could only get better from here on out.

**AN: A very long chapter with all my very precious dorks. Thank you to all who continue to read. I do not own Haikyu in any form or fashion, just in case a disclaimer was needed. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Dispelling the Clouds

Chapter 5

Things started to unravel not long after that.

I thought I had gotten the hang on school life, working, and the usual afterschool relaxing time we had. It was bland to most people, but counting on something to remain the same when you really had no control over anything else was soothing. It made me feel normal, and happy- things I had only dreamed about up until that point. The feelings were overwhelming, willing me to take more and more from the people around me, but I had to push them back where they had come from.

I had enough as it was; asking for more was wishing for things I couldn't control.

And there was plenty I couldn't control.

I guess the largest was people's interest in me. Outside of the new acquaintances I had made from the guy's volleyball team- who stopped by almost religiously every afternoon that I worked at the foothill store to buy something and chat- people inside of my class were starting to look at me in a new light. There had been a girl in my class who pretty much from the first day had found something appealing about me, and tried to talk to me. It wasn't the snarky, gossipy kind of way. The tiny raven-haired chick, Chiasa Hashimoto, didn't seem to have a mean bone in her body. She was ditzy in the forgetful kind of way, laughing her way through missing a homework assignment or any of the meaner taunts the other girls tried to throw at her. Everyone seemed to be her friend, and that easy going attitude was something I had always been jealous of.

Until it was directed at me.

She would stop by my desk every morning, bobbing and weaving her way through the class with a round of warm hellos until she would stop at the foot of my desk. I would scowl at her like usual, remaining silent because the last thing I wanted to do was egg her on, but I guess my usual sour exterior did nothing to faze her. That morning ritual seemed to be repeated day in and day out, and after the first few weeks of it, I just assumed it always would happened.

And it did, like clockwork.

The usual hellos would always be followed by a question or two as she chided me- Mi-chi, the disgusting little girly twist she had put on my name- until she would giggle at my unresponsiveness and tell me to have a good day. I wonder if it hurt her to have me act like such an ass when she obviously just meant good things, and after a while, the guilt got to me, and I started to answer, though only in clipped, blank responses to keep her from thinking I was really interested in our odd interactions. But god dammit, that girl seemed to brighten a million times the first time she had seen me oblige her with a response, and I felt warm inside from knowing I had given her some kindness in return.

I wonder why in the hell she chose to talk to me. The whole class seemed to be her friend, and I doubted it would have mattered so much if she left me to my own devices like the rest of them did.

But when she got injured tripping on our way to classes one day, and everyone laughed but kept going, I realized something: she was just as lonely as I was. The smiles and happiness were just masks for the outsider to think that she had a support group. Deep down, no one really cared. It was the same apathetic shit you saw everywhere, and it made me angry.

So I stopped, looking at her bleeding knee with a scowl to everyone around us who paused to watch the interaction. "You should probably go get that check out." I tried to sound calm, but the sentence was clipped, more like an order than a caring suggestion.

Chiasa didn't seemed fazed. Her face beamed that cheery smile she only gave every so often. "Mi-chi. Thank you so much for stopping."

I was tempted to tell her to shut up, but when I realized how damn much I would have sounded like Tsukki, I decided to go with something a tad bit kinder. "Here." I offered her my hands. "We're going to the infirmary. And no, I'm not letting you go alone because we both know there's a hundred percent chance that you'll trip and hurt yourself again."

She took my hands, laughing that absentminded way she did when someone said something true about her. "Okay."

We were both late for class, but I obviously didn't give three shits. I needed a break to calm myself down- the urge to sucker-punch every apathetic ass in our class was almost uncontrollable the first few minutes after seeing her alone and injured- and Chiasa needed a few minutes to compose herself too. She had been ranting quietly to me about how much trouble she must be to everyone if they didn't stop to help, but I reassured her that she wasn't trouble, just forgetful. And that there was nothing wrong with that when it couldn't be avoided. We all made mistakes. There was no point in thinking that someone had all their shit together all the time, and people who didn't ask never knew what was going on.

And from that moment on, I guess that made us friends. Chiasa constantly stopped by to talk to me in the mornings, on the way to other classes, and even managed to drag me out of my various hiding places during lunch to have me sit with her on the courtyard greens. I had been high-strung and abrasive about it at first, but the chipper little girl wormed her way into my heart to the point that I didn't have enough punk-ass fury in me to scare her off any longer. I started to open up to her, and we were actually more in common than you would have thought on first glance. A lot of my favorite bands, or tv shows were some she liked, and we also shared some smaller commonalities that just made day to day conversations flow really easily. It was weird opening up to anyone other than Tadashi, but at the core of it, I really did like having a female friend for the first time in almost a decade.

Even with Chiasa and I becoming close, it still left plenty of room for me and Tadashi to still do our tried and true routine. I could tell he was happy- to hell with that, he was elated- to know that I had made a friend of my own accord, and didn't seem fazed when I broke off from our conversations to relate something she and I had talked about to it. He was kind and attentive, always making sure to ask me how she was doing, or if the two of us had made plans again. I felt a little guilty to think that maybe he was only asking to be kind, but this was Tadashi we were talking about, and I doubted he meant anything but honest compassion. I mean, he had Tsukki, and now, I had Chiasa. It was normal to have more than one friend.

So, for the first time I felt complete: friends, a job, and things to actually look forward to in the future.

But there was one little surprise I couldn't control.

My mom's job had been doing really well, and I was happy to see her striving in something that obviously had become her muse once the divorce happened. She worked for a large enterprise that had a lot of clients and supporters amongst it, and beyond her usual paperwork and phone calls, she sometimes left for a day or two to travel and do some more work with other branches that had to be done in person. I had gotten used to the idea of coming home to an empty apartment most nights, so having her home, waiting on me of all things, signaled that something out of the ordinary had happened.

"I'm going out of town for a few days." She offered as we settled down with our preheated meals a few minutes after the awkward exchange of hellos. I had been nibbling on a bean sprout, but turned to look at her calmly, knowing it wasn't something out of the ordinary, though a bit longer than what I was used to. "Now, the thing is, I don't like leaving you on your own for more than a day or two. This is going to be for four days minimum- maybe more if our proposal goes through to the sponsor. I've asked the Yamaguchis to let you stay with them for that long, or longer if needed."

I dropped the bean sprout back onto the tray. "Wait, what? You didn't need to ask them that. I'm perfectly fine on my own."

She gave me a patient, albeit tired smile. "I know that, Mi. But I'm a mother, you know? I'd rather you be with them, just in case. It'll put my mind at ease, and they seemed more than willing to have you. And you don't really mind, do you? You're constantly over there as it is with Tadashi, so it's not such a big hassle on their behalf."

I flushed, averting my eyes in embarrassment as her cool statement flooded over me. "Don't make me sound like some unwanted addition to their house. I don't want to be a burden."

"We both know you're not." She snorted, moving to refill my cup of chilled green tea. "Anyway, you should enjoy it. It'll be a nice change of pace to coming home to no one, hm?"

I looked up to see her painful smile. She was still punishing herself for having to work so much to keep us both afloat. I knew it was hard on her, and I had given living with my dad and his new wife a lot of thought at first when she cried herself to sleep trying to work two jobs until she got promoted. If it had just been her, she would have had less to worry about. I was the one making her work so hard despite her love for her career, and I knew she took it personally more than she should have.

"Don't blame yourself, Mom." I reached across the table to touch her hand before offering her a tight-lipped grin. "It's just nice knowing I still have you."

Her eyes filled with tears, and she reached her other hand to press her tear ducts shut. "Thank you, sweetie."

I told myself not to make a big deal about having to stay with the Yamaguchis. It really wasn't a big deal as she had said, but just knowing Tadashi would literally be under the same roof for more than a few hours made me- god, should I admit it?- giddy. I knew it shouldn't really matter, but it really was warming. I liked being with him. And the more we were together, the happier I seemed to be. It was going to be great. I could feel that feeling echoing in my bones.

Neither of us made a big deal about it in the days leading up to the stay, and I didn't know if he knew yet, or if it was just something a little too awkward to casually bring up in conversation. I doubted that his parents hadn't told him, so I assumed that his usual patient attitude with me signaled that he was okay with the whole exchange and didn't seen off put by being with me longer than usual. It was nice to know the feeling was mutual between us, and I started fervently counting down the days until it would actually happen.

So on the Thursday when my mom was supposed to leave, I stayed home from school to spend a few hours with her before she drove us both to Tadashi's house. There wasn't an easier way to get me and my stuff across the city without me skipping most of the day, and since I had an afternoon off from the store as it was, there really was no point in going. It was nice to have a few extra moments with Mom; the ones we had on the weekends were few and far between with the amount of work she had to do outside the office, so any time we had to be together was precious and awesome. And seeing her have an hour to just chat with Tadashi's mom too made it all a little sweeter.

After being led to the guest room that would be my home away from home, and being told again and again how welcomed my addition was from Mrs. Yamaguchi, I started to unpack the things I had brought with me to make the stay a little easier. I wasn't really a sentimental person, so all the necessary things- school uniform, clothes for around the house, you know the drill- and only a few extras had been brought along. My laptop was a godsend from my dad a couple of years back for my birthday, and that machine and I were almost inseparable when I was at home together. It filled the time with movies, comics, and music creation when I was by myself and needed something- anything- to keep me from realizing how isolated I was from the outside world.

I never really talked much about my hobby, huh?

Yeah, I was one of those music nuts who could spin melodies out of thin air and work them into a track within a few hours. The trade had been a hard one to pick up- I still cringed listening to the badly instrumented and layered my earliest works had been- but with time and repetition, I started to grow, blending styles I had listened to into my own growing outlook on music. It gave me something to occupy my time with, and something to bleed my soul into when no one was around to be there to hear it screaming. Music was my muse, plain and simple.

So after mindlessly clearing the next path of the game I had been devouring on Tadashi's system, I helped myself onto his bed and flipped to the recent track I had been mixing. It was more of a pop song than I intended it to be on first inspiration, but the jazzy suite of string instruments at the beginning seemed to blend perfectly with the techno beats that made up the background melody behind what I was hoping to be some sick vocals one day in the future. I wasn't much of a singer, and the thought of someone else seeing the lyrics made me flush.

Because I had written them about me and Tadashi. And how complete it felt when the two of us were together.

I could feel the words wash over me as I laid my head against his pillow, letting the beats of the track flow over the headphones I wore. They were echoing in my veins, pumping in my bloodstream as his scent filled my nostrils. The words had a simple premise: that I was at my best when he was right beside me. It had been true when we had been children, and it was even truer now that we had been reunited.

I loved him. I hated to admit it to anyone but myself, but I really did. It wasn't that awkward crush you got on someone because you thought they were hot, or anything like that. I loved him because he was a dorky, awkward crybaby who always saw good in everyone but himself. Who needed someone to be his shield, but would never leave your side when things got hairy.

I smiled as my eyes started to close, relishing the way just thinking about him sent a pleasant tingle of joy from my pinkie toe all the way to the crown of my head. This kid really was working wonders on me, and I intended to show him in the days we would be together how much he meant to me.

"Mi." I could feel someone gentle moving my shoulder back and forth, and I flopped over, groaning as the blissful sleep seemed miles away under the intrusive shaking.

I cracked one eye open, hazily seeing Tadashi's face frozen only a few inches away from my own. It took a good few seconds to realize the lack of space between us, and I jolted, tugging the headphones that were over my ears out of the audio jack on my laptop until the speakers were blasting with the track I had set on repeat for a good thirty seconds as I sat frozen. When the connection was made that this was my secret track for him, I scrambled to shut the laptop with a press of my hand, flushing in mortification as he moved to scoot farther towards the edge of the bed opposite to where I had ungracefully fallen asleep.

"S-sorry." The apology was shakily exiting his mouth, and I slumped, hating that our first day together had started off on such awkward footing. "Mom just wanted me to come get you. Dinner's ready."

"Oh." I blinked. I had completely forgotten that they ate their meals as a family when Tadashi and his father returned. "R-right."

We both stared at each other for another second, before he cracked a dorky, lopsided grin. It was enough to get a giggle out of me at how awkward we both were sometimes, and before long, the two of us were laughing together and the embarrassment was miles away. You could count on Tadashi to try to turn around an awkward situation, and it made me happy to see him so at ease with me on our first day together.

Dinner was fucking fantastic. It was the first time in a very long time that I had actually eaten a home cooked meal with all the trimmings. I told Mrs. Yamaguchi that she didn't have to do anything special just because I was staying with them, but she blinked, assuring me that this was what she usually did, so there wasn't any need to worry. I was embarrassed, flushing at the thought that this was something normal for them but not me. My awkward was thankfully forgotten as Tadashi exchanged the stuff that had happened in practice to his parents and me, and we were all engrossed in the idea of seeing the volleyball team soar to new heights this year with all the amazing people I knew made it up.

After dinner, I was pulled into the living room with Tadashi's dad to watch this documentary he had been telling me was superb while Tadashi went upstairs to unwind and finish his homework. I really just wanted to follow him and play games or talk, but I realized that we both needed to establish some space to keep us sane in the few days we would have to inevitably see each other. So I sat quietly, trying to be engrossed in the spiel about nature conservations that were starting to take place in the country for a bunch of newly endangered species, but to no avail. My mind was with the freckled kid sitting a floor above me, wondering what he was doing, and if he was thinking about me too.

Once it was finished, I excused myself to get ready for bed and headed straight for his room. I knocked on his door, hearing his cheerful reply that I could enter.

I opened the door, taking a few steps in. He was closing a workbook as I stopped, but turned to give me a small smile as he stretched. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded, giving a smile of my own. "I was just about to give Chiasa a call and hit the sheets. Thought I should say good night, y'know?"

He grinned larger, before nodding his head back towards the bed. "Sure thing. Just don't forget your laptop."

I flushed slightly at the awkward encounter from earlier. "Yeah. Let me go grab that. I can't live without that thing."

He offered a hesitant question as I scrambled over the edge of the bed to hoist the computer and my headphones into my arms. "That song you were listening to on it earlier sounded cool. Who's it by?"

I froze.

It's not that I didn't want to tell Tadashi. It's that I never really found a way to bring up music writing in a way that wouldn't invite him to listen to all my heartfelt creations. The hobby left me vulnerable in ways I didn't like people knowing. My music was written for my ears and my ears only- well, at least for now. And knowing he had heard one of my pieces, especially one written for him, made me want to squirm away from the topic more than usual.

But I realized I would want to show him eventually, so I decided to drop the small bomb of truth at his feet and be done with it. "Well," I screwed my eyes hut, hating how quiet my voice was. "Me, actually."

I could hear him make a sound of amazement. "Are you serious? That's so cool! Could I listen to it? I-I mean, if that's okay with you."

I turned to give him a grin. "You're such a dork, Tadashi. Yeah, I guess you can since you already heard part of it. It's only fair."

We settled at the table with the laptop between us. I plugged the headphones back in, handing them to him before starting the track. I didn't really want to listen to the track, and in all honesty, you couldn't hear the base notes as well on my speakers so I thought giving him the full affect was the courteous thing to do.

I told myself not to look at his reaction throughout the track. The song was for him, but he didn't know that. I knew because I had written it, and maybe he wouldn't like the song. It wasn't really his style; he would probably think it was weird for someone as punk-rebel as me to write something so upbeat; so happy. But when I chanced a look into his face, I couldn't help but gawk. He looked so at ease; it was the same look I would have imagined on my own face listening to it. His head was bobbing to the beat, and his eyes were closed, as if he really was savoring in the moment of listening to every chord, every progression that made my track what it was.

And when it was over, he lifted the headphones from his head to give me a look of amazement. "That was incredible. Why didn't you tell me you wrote music?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. His honest praise left me feeling extremely sheepish. "Eh, it's not something I like to talk about it. But you liked it?"

"Didn't I say it was incredible?"

I laughed, but I still couldn't look him in the eye. "Yeah, you did."

"How long have you been working on it?" He pressed, seeming more interested by the second. "Do you work with each instrument, or hear a melody with all of them in it? Does the song have a name yet? Lyrics, or just instrumental?"

"Geez, one fucking question at a time, dummy." I moved to smack his against the shoulder before snorting. My heart was literally in my throat; one wrong answer and I could spill everything. "Um, I've been working on this track for about a year or so. I usually hear a melody and build around it, tweaking different instruments that would pair well to get the emotion I feel needs to be evoked. There are lyrics, but," I could feel myself wheezing, panicking as I failed to find a good reason. "They're incomplete." I rushed, knowing it was partially true. There was something missing- no, something I wouldn't allow myself to write just yet. "So for now, that's all I have."

"Amazing." He breathed, full of wonder at the sheer magnitude of time and effort I'd poured into that two and a half minute track. "You have a gift, Mi. I can't believe I didn't know until now."

I flushed at his honest praise. "Nah, I just have too much time on my hands. There's nothing to brag about."

He made a small noise of disapproval. "You should be proud of your work. I wish you'd believe me when I say it's awesome."

"I do believe you!" I shot back, looking at him, only to look away just as quickly when I saw the tender look on his face in response. "I really do. It's just that I have a hard time believing it myself. So thanks. You're the first person I've shared it with, so it makes me a little shaky."

He let out a small gasp. "You haven't showed anyone else this?"

"Nope." I shook my head lightly with a tiny smile. "You're seriously the only person I can show this to. So thanks, I guess. For listening, and letting me know your honest opinion."

He laid a hand kindly on my shoulder. "That's what I'm here for, Mi."

I flushed, nodding at the tender contact. I knew that already. He was there for everything- every little fight of excitement I had, all my stubborn punk-assery, and everything in between. Tadashi was my sidekick; he stuck with me through thick and thin.

"Thanks."

The flood of feelings was making me lightheaded, and before I could think it through, I moved to lean my head against his shoulder. It felt comforting, and kind, like all the times the two of us had fallen asleep on each other after a long day of make-believe playing and whatever else caught our fancy. The warmth was growing as I relived some of those better days, filling my head with snippets of memories that had been a blanket of comfort in the years we had been separated. I could remember the time we had fallen asleep in our clumsily built pillow-fort, only to wake up to have Tadashi curled against me, drooling a puddle of saliva into the center of my abdomen as he relied on me to be his pillow. I could remember the giddiness that welled up in my chest then- childish innocence at its best- and how I whispered I'd love him forever and a day before kissing him on the head.

That same feeling was welling in my heart again, and for a moment, I almost succumbed to it. His cheek was so close- just a few inches, and I could reach it with ease. But my heart jolted as I realized how stupid that was. Idiot! Did I want him to know in one simple move how head over heels I was for him?

So I straightened instead, leaning my head off of him and moving to my feet. He was watching me, those dark eyes soft above the freckle-crusted cheeks, and I knew the feeling was one he had felt even with words. And it worried me. Because I had absolutely no idea about how he felt about me.

"I should really call Chiasa before it gets too late." I almost screwed my eyes shut at how I was always armed with an excuse when I got uncomfortable. He just continued to watch me. I knew he didn't really believe me. He was starting to see through me, and it scared the shit out of me. Still, I knew it was just me and these damn feelings at the source of the problem. I couldn't accept them just yet. And until then, I had pretend like they didn't exist. So I squeezed a tiny smile and moved to hoist my laptop into my arms. "Night, Tadashi."

"Night." The look eased like it always did, though this time a little more tender and a little less cheerful than before. It was real, tugging at my heartstrings. Those freckled cheeks were lifted to me, letting me drink him in with all the dorky cuteness that plagued my love for him. "I'll see you in the morning, Mi."

I settled into the spare bedroom at the end of the hallway, huffing anxious puffs into the silence of the room. My heart was about to leap out of my chest at how stupidly embarrassed I felt. This kid could work me into a puddle of mush in seconds, and seeing how weak he could make me with so little effort was alarming. I couldn't let me resolve crumble. I was the strong, level-headed one between us. If I caved, giving into my feelings for him and all the grief I had been pushing away over the years, everything would be out of control. I wouldn't be myself. Tadashi would probably leave me.

A tiny voice in my head said that he would never do that, but I doubted it. He had every right to leave me if it made him hurt. I didn't want him to worry about me anymore than he already was. Things were manageable and as perfect as they could get right now: I had everything I needed. Even if I loved him, the thought of losing him to some stupid feelings wasn't worth it. I would swallow those feelings forever and a day if it meant being with him. Those three simple words would not replace eight years of isolation, or fix them either. I would make do as I always did, and cower behind my walls so he would always think I was fine, and didn't need more from him than he was already offering.

It kept us both safe this way. Or maybe it was a lie I had to tell myself to continue.


	6. Chapter 6

Dispelling the Clouds

Chapter 6

"Mi, darling." There was a soft rap at my door just seconds before the alarm on my phone went off. I groaned, running a hand over my crusty eyes before slapping the snooze button on the touchscreen. I could hazily make out Tadashi's mom at the doorway of my room, giving me what was sure to be a beaming smile even this early in the morning. "It's time for you to get ready for school. Breakfast is all ready for you when you finish up."

"M'kay." I mumbled, flopping half of my body off of the mattress until I could find part of my uniform. "Thanks."

"Not a problem, sweetie." She giggled as I tried to dress myself from the warm safety of the bed. "I'll go wake Tadashi then."

It was weird to think that Tadashi and I had spent the whole night under the same roof, but as I dressed, it dawned on me that we had practically spent more than two or three hours in a row together. A stupid smile of satisfaction sauntered across my face as the almost-dream like thought hit me, but as I caught my real reflection in the mirror, I couldn't help but scowl. This was no time for daydreaming. I couldn't keep romanticizing every goddamn detail of these next three days together. I liked Tadashi. But there was no way in hell I was even remotely certain that he felt the smidgen of lovey-dovey shit for me.

I sighed, running a hand over my face before groaning. Great. It wasn't even twenty minutes into the day and I was already giving myself a head start into some shit-storm of stupidity.

After double checking that I looked presentably decent- more so for the Yamaguchis than for myself or any of the dumbasses at school- I sauntered down the stairs to the kitchen, humming a wisp of a melody that had popped into my head on the way down. Tadashi's mom was sitting at the table, beaming as she lifted her head from the magazine she had been reading when she realized I was headed her way.

"My, my, you sure do get done much more quickly than Tadashi." She complimented me with a wink as she moved to ready my plate with my second home-cooked meal in less than a day. "That boy has had troubles getting up on time or moving faster than a snail's pace since he's gotten into junior high."

I bobbed a quick nod and thanked her before murmuring my own answer. "Blame puberty."

"Oh, I do." She winked, pushing a pitcher of orange juice over to me as she sat again. "I can't help but giggle to myself as he keeps growing. Does your mother do it to you?"

"All the time." I rolled my eyes. "She used to always lament that I never grew out of my tomboy phase. I guess she thought somewhere along the line I would actually give in and be a full-fledged girly girl."

She snorted, so in-tune with my mom's mindset that I doubted she hadn't heard this from the woman herself at one point in their friendship. "That woman is a piece of work."

I couldn't help but give a snarky grin. "Don't we both know it."

"Mornin'."

We both turned to see Tadashi sleepily making his way into the kitchen. He looked like he was fresh out of the shower, though the yawn escaping his mouth said he would much rather have been back in bed than out getting ready for the real world. His smile was small and kind as it landed on his mom, but it grew, stretching across his dorky face as he noted me throwing a complacent peace sign in his direction as he passed. I almost choked on my toast. It was way too fucking early for this kid to be giving me a heart attack.

"Morning, handsome." His mother offered with that same sweet tone of voice she had used with me. "Sleep well?"

He gave a small yawn as he settled into the chair to my left. I could hear him moving, adding a few extra pauses to the conversation before he reluctantly offered a response. "Yeah."

"Ohhhh." There was a short pause from his mother. I turned to look at him, only to see him flushing crimson at whatever mortify look she was giving him. But when I turned to look, she was only beaming a small smile at him. "The joys of being young."

"Wait, what?" I ventured, only to have Tadashi throw his hands over his even more profusely red face. "Is this some kind of weird morning ritual that I don't know about?"

His mother almost doubled over in laughter at this point. "Oh god- I can't! Mi, you're an angel. No, I'm just giving my son a hard time about things he can't control. But let's not embarrass him anymore this early in the morning, hm?"

"Please." Tadashi groaned into his hands.

I could only split a hesitant glance between the two of them before shrugging in defeat. As to what that whole conversation had been about, I had no fucking clue. But from his mother's enjoyment and Tadsashi's own mortification, I knew better than to dwell on it. Parents loved to give their kids shit from time to time, and I doubted it was anything more serious than that.

After finishing a few last minute tasks for the morning and grabbing our loving made bentos- courtesy of Mrs. Yamaguchi, of course- the two of us began our decent amble to school in a warm sense of comradery. I had fished out my mp3 again as we first started walking, and like a few times in the past, the two of us split the headphones between us and walked along jamming to whatever cd caught our fancy. It was a nice thing I didn't give Tadashi enough credit for; he was one of those people who could savor the silence with you without making a need for conversation ever something of importance to him. He knew how to use his ears as much as his mouth, if not more so. And for a guy of our age, that was one thing that made him different and much more kind than the average prick.

Case in point, the blond ass king himself, who seemed to join us out of nowhere a good ten or fifteen minutes into our walk. He merely offered Tadashi a nod as the freckled darling gave him a chipper good morning, but moved to pack a wallop of venom into a sneer as he noticed me standing there as well. I scrunched my face as well, flicking him off with all the gusto I could before Tadashi waved at us to break us out of our first- but not last, that was for damn sure- little quip for the day.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Tsukishima growled after a good thirty seconds of us walking in silence.

Tadashi lifted his arm to smack the other guy in good humor. "Come on, Tsuki! I told you about how Mi was staying with my family for a few days."

"You can't expect me to remember." The other boy was messing with his own mp3 now. The scowl on his face made it clear that he wanted to be a hundred miles away from us at this very moment- all for the small fact that I was there. And it riled me up. "The shit you constantly say about her goes in one ear and out the other."

"Fuck off." I spat, hating that he could dismiss me in just a couple of sentences. "No one gives three shits about you either, you cunt."

"That's enough cursing, both of you." Tadashi warned as he gave us a heavy look. "This is supposed to be a nice experience. When was the last time the three of us walked to school together?"

"Never." Tsuki offered before lifting his headphones to his ears. "And I had planned on keeping it that way."

"Man," Tadashi slumped, moving to give me a sad smile. "I was really excited for all of us to be together for a little while. You two sure do know how to ruin a mood."

I pouted. It sucked to see him bummed out for the way Tsuki always added some bitterness to our interactions. "Don't blame me. If he gave me a little decency, this hellfire wouldn't have to be brought to life. I can't help it if he's a pathetic, blond ass loser who can't make friends and tries to make sure anyone who comes into contact with him knows it."

Tadashi hummed. "Then what are we, huh? Just some weirdos who follow him around?"

I slung my arm across his shoulder with a small laugh. "Those are your words, not mine. And I don't follow him around. I'm here for you and that's it."

"Wow!" He was playing into my sappy honesty, batting his eyelashes at Tsuki now, who was glaring at the freckled kid beside him in confusion as our banter was probably muted by his music. "Who would have imagine the day when I'd actually be more popular than Tsuki?!"

I snorted as the blonde turned to glare at our escapade, but looked away as I made a face at him. "You're a riot, Tadashi." I smirked before giving the guy beside me a playful punch on the shoulder. "I guess all those years of volleyball really did bring you out of your shell."

His smile widened just a fraction. "Hm. Maybe. All that really matters is us having a good time together. Don't you ever get tired of just yelling at Tsuki? He's calmed down quite a bit in the last few weeks. I was hoping it'd rub off on you, but I guess that was just wishful thinking."

What he said was true, surprise surprise.

Oddly, the blond hadn't been slinging curses or taunts at me every time we happened to cross paths. I thought at first that he had merely run out of any good ones to get under my skin, but in some strange sense, it seemed like he really didn't seem up to it. This morning had probably been the closest to his old behavior that I'd seen, and I was wondering what in the world was going on in his head when he saw me. I was hoping he was taking Tadashi's downheartedness when he saw us always at each other's throat with a grain of salt, but then again, me guessing anything about what was going through that blond devil's head was like trying to predict a winning string of lottery numbers.

"I think we're both trying." I scuffed the bottom of my shoe as we approached the school. People were milling around, calling to each other and filling the air with loud greetings and laughter. I caught Chiasa somewhere in the mix, and the thought of talking to her soon made me a smidgen happier than I had been moments before. Tadashi fished the earbud out of his ear as we entered the school gates, smiling a little wider as he saw me genuinely happy to be at school. "But I guess I can try harder."

"Thanks." His freckled cheeks were lifted into one of the most chipper smiles I'd ever seen. "I guess I'll see you tonight, huh? Since you're working after school?"

"Yep." I was moving to stuff my mp3 back into my coat pocket, but paused to give him a tiny smile. "I'll see you later."

The rest of the day passed by in a mundane blur, save for the kick-ass moments I had to spend with Chiasa. She was giving me grief about spending the night at a guy's house- as if the fact that there was nothing romantic going on between us, or that his parents were practically across the hall from us at all times- and I had to laugh at how insistent she was to know every fucking detail about how our first day under the same roof had gone. I felt giddy and a little girly as I told her about how well Tadashi was taking it, and she was egging me on in that little chipper way she did.

And even gave me a ridiculously sweet idea as we were heading back for lunch.

"You should go out." She put in as we sauntered through the courtyard back to the building.

I rolled my eyes. "Listen, I know how much you want the two of us to be a couple but-"

Her karate chop into my abdomen knocked all the air out of me. I could only glare at her in confusion as she offered a small smile. "Not like that, Mi-chi. I meant that you two should go out and do something. Alone. When was the last time you actually left his house to- I don't know- go see a movie or do some karaoke?"

I paused. We never left his house. It was safer that way. Both of us felt safe and comfortable there. But the outside world- a place where people couldn't fucking fathom that a guy and a girl were together without trying to fuck each other's brains out behind closed doors- was very dangerous territory.

"I dunno about that." There was almost a whininess to my voice. I frowned, knowing that while she was trying to help me out, she failed to realize that Tadashi and I were probably two of the most fucking awkward people who had born on the face of the earth. "I doubt that he'd say yes, even if I asked. And I don't think I'd ask, honestly. It'd be too obvious, you know?"

"I don't think so." She swiveled on her heel to grin at me before propelling herself up the steps to the second floor with a giggle. "You just have to stop thinking so hard. You've been meaning to thank him for a while now, right? For being friends with you again and being there for you? Think of it as a way to do that."

I knew I really couldn't say no now. The urge to let Tadashi know how much he meant to me was tugging at my veins even now, and the freckled darling deserved to know that he literally had been the turning point in my dreary life from the first day we reconnected.

"Fine." I sighed, drooping my shoulders as she started to cheer in victory. "I guess there's no harm in asking."

So while I was at work that afternoon, I mulled over all the options we had for going out. Tadashi liked games, and volleyball, and some music. He was a sap for movies, so I guess that was a good place to start. And afterwards, we could go get some fast food. He'd order a big thing of fries just for himself, and he'd wait until they were lukewarm and soggy to gobble them down like they were the tastiest thing on the face of the earth. A stupid smile pulled at my lips as I tried to hide my expression into the hand curled against my face. I knew this kid way too fucking well to let a day out go awry.

The doorbell chimed, and I started, unprepared for more visitors towards the end of my shift. Grams usually took over before it got dark so I could still walk to the train station while there was light outside, and there was probably less than an hour until she stuck her wrinkled face out of the kitchen to shoo me off.

"W-welcome." I offered plainly as a noisy group entered into the store. My head had ducked down to look at the countertop, knowing that even now, I was unused to having people pay me any attention in the store. People still scared me shitless, and knowing that this was one situation where I couldn't hide in the shadows like I was used to made it all the more unnerving.

"Oi, Yuu!" I immediately recognized the voice, and snapped my head up to see Tanaka, Nishinoya, Asahi, and a few of the other volleyball guys standing near the entrance. The baldie was grinning like there was no tomorrow, and the idiotic smirk made me idiotically happy and strangely at ease within seconds. "Look who it is!"

The short punk was already beaming, and before I could blink, the two of them were dashing over to stand excitedly on the other side of the front counter. "Well, if it isn't our underclassman!" Nishinoya bellowed, extending his arm to give me an animated high-five. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." I couldn't help but smiled as Tanaka moved to clasp my hand under both of his in as powerful a greeting as his friend's had been. "It's good to see you again, Nishinoya-senpai. Tanaka-senpai."

They both shivered in excitement. "She called us senpai again!"

I snorted, shaking my head as they called the others over to say hello to me. "You two are so adorkable."

"Adorkable?!" Nishinoya turned to throw his hands excitedly out towards Asahi, then back at me. "Did you hear that, man? A chick just called me adorkable!"

Asahi offered a timid smile to me before shaking his head at the punk midget in front of him. "I doubt she meant it as a compliment."

"You're just jealous!" Tanaka puffed his chest as he slung his arm around Nishinoya's shoulders. He turned to look at me after a split second, grinning in expectation. "Tell him what you think of him, Kimura!"

I looked into the taller boy's face, flushing as that inevitable wave of attraction swelled over my body. There was no denying I was attracted to him, and hey, I doubted it would ever be anything more than that.

"Asahi-senpai is super cool." The admiration was clear in my voice. "He's not adorkable. I guess he'd be more.. erm, sensational? Does that even make sense?"

Asahi was blushing now too, scratching at the back of his neck as the other two elbowed him playfully in the stomach.

"Ooooh!" Nishinoya singsonged. "Looks like Asahi's caught under girl under his web!"

"Look at him blush!" Tanaka egged the punk's teasing on, waggling his eyebrows between us. "Come on, Asahi! You got to make a move, man, before you know who does!"

I wanted to ask who the you know who Tanaka was referring to was, but as I opened my mouth, another slightly familiar voice butted in.

"Hey, three stooges!" There was a series of loud smacks as a dark haired guy I remembered to be the volleyball captain appear behind the group. In turn, all three of the guys groaned and rubbed at the back of their heads- or shoulders, in Asahi's case- as he frowned at them. "Stop giving the young lady a comedy act and get what you want. We have a few underclassmen waiting outside for us, remember?"

They all groaned in agreement. "Right."

"So," I offered into the silence as they settled. I raised my hands to gesture at the store around me. "What were you stopping in for?"

"Some of Granny's famous rice balls!" Tanaka was already scouring the warming tray we had on the far edge of the front counter, only to frown as he realized it was almost empty. "Ah, fuck! There's not enough for all of us!"

The boys were all started to sigh dejectedly, and I felt bad. Fuck. Wasn't there anything I could do?

I mulled until a sudden realization made me jump to my feet in success. During the hour or so I first showed up at the shop, I usually walked back to the kitchen and helped Grams make some food while one of Ukai's friends- a smiley guy who played for the association level volley ball club the punk-ass idiot was also a part of- finished off his shift and worked the rush hour of students filing into the store as school ended. I had made a tray of rice balls by myself- more so for practice than to actually help her with the load she had to make for the influx of students- and I doubted that Grams had done anything with them.

"Hold on." I tried to offer the guys a reassuring smile. "I'll be right back."

I dashed through the partition, swatting the material hanging against the doorway until I was standing in the kitchen. Grams was sitting in a corner, enjoying a cup of tea, but paused to smirk at me as she saw me creep to the fridge. I lifted my tray out, sighing in relief as I realized that the balls actually didn't look as much like shit as I thought.

"Mind if I sell these to some hungry volleyball junkies?" I asked, knowing it was better to ask her permission than to storm off and do my own thing. It wasn't my store, and I had no right to sell shit unless I got her okay.

She shook her head as her smirk grew. And for the second time since I knew her, she actually looked so much like her son that it almost scared the living shit out of me. "They're edible, dear, so why not? Make sure your friends are nice and fed. I'm sure my son's put them through the ringer again today."

"That boy of yours is a fucking piece of work." I agreed, knowing that she didn't mind cursing like some elderly people did. I had actually use a few profanities on the odd times I had been in earshot, and the notion to see someone so badass at her age made me hope I'd turn out like that when I got wrinkly and senile. "But sure. And thanks, Gram. I'm going back out."

I hoisted the tray in between my hands and sauntered back through the doorway with a small spring in my step. The guys were cheering as they noticed the tray in my hands, and moved to crowd around me as I settled it against the counter between us as I returned to my spot.

"Do you think these will work?" I bit down on my lip, knowing that now that the guys could see them up close, maybe they wouldn't want them. It was pretty fucking obvious that Grams hadn't made them. "I know they're pretty fugly, so I'll give them to you for half off, ok? Think of it as a little senpai-special from their awesome underclassman."

Tanaka was propelling himself over the kiosk to hug me in a tight embrace. "Oh god!" He was practically crying in happiness as the others began to cheer at the thought of reduce priced food. "I love this kid! Who could ask for a better kouhai?!"

"Not us!" Nishinoya was wiping a sole tear from his eye as the baldie finally released his suffocating grip on me. "We're the luckiest senpais in the world, Ryu."

"Okay, idiots." I rolled my eyes, stretching my hand in the space between us to dictate it was time for them to pay. "I know I'm pretty fucking fantastic, but you should probably pay and get out of here before Grams takes over. She'll kick your asses for causing a ruckus at this time of day."

The whole group was pitching in a few yen here and there until the whole tray and the few straggling ones Gram had made were paid for and collected. I plopped the money into the cash register, then leaned forward to give the group one last smile. "Thanks for stopping in. Make sure you feed those underclassmen well ok? Which ones are waiting outside for you?"

"Just Hinata and Kageyama." Nishinoya beamed as he handed the sack of food off to the captain and the gray-haired guy just beyond. "You remember them right? The little redheaded kid and the tall scary looking black-haired one he's always yelling at?"

"Nishinoya!" The gray haired guy spoke up, giving the punk a stern look. It reminded me so much of that look my mom gave me that I almost busted out laughing. Who knew! "Don't make Kageyama out to be some weirdo."

"Don't listen to Suga." Tanaka waved absentmindedly. "That kid really is scary sometimes."

"Look who you're talking to." I snorted, waving a hand at my punk appearance. "I think I understand where you're coming from."

Nishinoya rolled his eyes. "You're not scary. I mean," He linked arms with Tanaka before grinning at me. "It's your awesome, punk-ass senpais you're talking to." He turned to grin up at the gentle giant. "And even Asahi thinks you're fucking awesome! Aren't I right, man?"

"W-what?" The other guy had been caught off guard, and jolted in place as he saw the other two anticipating his answer. He gulped, rubbing at his neck before looking at me, then at the floor. "Y-yeah. I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with her. Everyone deserves to be proud of who they are."

"Aw, listen to him go." Tanaka grinned. "Sounds like something straight out of a shoujo manga."

"Hey!" Asahi shot him a look. "You were the ones who asked!"

"Ok, you guys, knock it off." Suga put in before grabbing Tanaka and Nishinoya by their jackets. "You've entertained the young lady enough." He offered me a warm smile before bobbing his head. "Thank you for your help. We'll be leaving now."

I nodded. "No problem. Be careful on your way home."

Before long, I was heading out too, smiling into the darkening sky with a grin I wouldn't allow anyone else to see. A lot of good things had happened today- talking girly who-ha with Chiasa, making a plan to do something with just Tadashi, and hey, even seeing some of the guys from the volleyball club had made a sweet day a little sweeter. It was nice to think that I was finally starting to get the hang of living here with everybody at Karasuno. Because trust me- I had more than enough experience knowing what it was like to be on the outside before returning here.

And it was all because Tadashi had let me back in. Without that little push, that big approval he had given me despite all the fucking wacky shit that had happened in the eight years we had been separated, none of this would have ever really happened.

Because I would have left. Or worse. And the thought of that being reality instead of where I was standing now terrified the lifeblood out of me.

So I intended to do like Chiasa had begged. I'd been mulling over what to do with Tadashi the entire time I had been at work, and knowing him, it was better to be simple with a day out then to try to cram too much in to make it appealing. I thought we'd just go into the city to go look at some video game shops, get a bite to eat, and call it a day. Nothing spelled a date, and I doubted, based on the limited things we were doing, that he thought it would be one.

I was still scared shitless. Because I knew if one thing went wrong- one little thing I did made it clear that I had feelings for him when he didn't for me- there would be no digging myself out of the hole I'd dropped myself into. And I was scared I would lose him. Because you can't just be friends with someone once you know they have feelings for you.

But as I approached his house, I told myself to stop being so damn pessimistic all the time. He hadn't seen through my façade yet, and I doubted the sweetheart would. As much as I loved that freckled kid, he was a little dense when it came to situations like this. So it would all be ok. I'd use the rest of the night we had together to break it to him, casually slipping it in as we played games together or chatted over homework. It would be foolproof.

I was grinning like a madman when I entered his house. "I'm back."

"Welcome home!" The response was almost immediate from Tadashi's mom as I shucked off my shoes and sauntered down the front hall. "How was your day, Hiromi?"

I stopped by the kitchen to give her a smile. She was busily working on tonight's meal, stirring at something in a pot. "I had a good day." I admitted, laughing as she started to make a face at something on the stove. "School went by fast, and work was actually pretty fun."

"I'm glad to hear it, dear!" She winked as she came to ruffle my hair before moving back to the pot she had been upset with seconds ago. "Why don't you go upstairs and unwind for a little bit? Dinner will be done in a little while."

"Sure." I couldn't help but flush at how motherly she was to someone like me, who wasn't even her own kid. "I'm going upstairs, then."

After dropping my school bag in my room, I shimmied out of my uniform and put on one of the spare outfits I had toted along with me for my stay. The t-shirt had a cute, brightly colored t-rex on it, and it paired well with the polka-dotted cotton shorts Mom had gotten me a summer ago when I left to visit my dad's house at the beach. It was probably one of the brighter and more girly outfits I owned, but knowing it was only Tadashi and his family who were going to see me in it didn't really bother me.

I knocked at his door in warning before slowly creaking it open. "Hey, I'm back. What are you-" My kind expression quickly morphed into one of confused anger as I noted the untimely presence of Tadashi as well as Tsukishima sitting at his table. "Fucking shit."

I could only glare at the blond before crossing my arms. Tadashi watched the blond slowly glared back, and scrambled to his feet. "Welcome back, Mi. Tsuki was just helping me with some assignment I didn't really understand. You can come in and join us, if you like."

"Depends." I muttered through pursed lips. "Is he leaving soon?"

Oddly, the blond didn't snap back at me like I thought he would. He was busily engrossed in the practice manual in front of him, scribbling away as if he really didn't care that I had broken the tranquil atmosphere they had been sitting in before. And it threw me off. I had been expecting him to tell me to mind my own business, or to stop dictating people around when this wasn't even my fucking house. So for him to say nothing meant he didn't care. Or that he was finally tired of yelling at me.

"We still have a little ways to go." He admitted before gesturing towards his tv and video game console. "But you're welcome to play some games or something until we get it done."

I hummed, knowing that the thought of finally getting through the next dungeon in the game I had been playing for the past month and a half seemed very appealing. Still, I knew I would be either cursing, yelling, or laughing at my own stupidity at god knows what level of volume, so I doubted either of them would get any work done with me playing games. I had some homework as it was that I hadn't finished in the few breaks I had at work, so I decided it was better just to join them with Tsuki being so complacent then to irritate him into some hellish state that usually made up his mood.

"Nah, I skip on the games for now." I jerked my head back towards the door before giving Tadashi a small smile. "I'll go grab my own homework and finish it with you. Sound cool?"

His face offered a tender smile in response. "Sure. I'll make room for you at the table then."

I grabbed my math practice book and sat at the edge of the table at equal length from both of the guys. They were talking about something in the text as I approached, and were soon silent, moving to answer whatever it was that the homework required. I tried to keep my gaze on the practice algebra problems, but with the repetition of formulaic use after formulaic use for this chapter, I grew bored with the homework and lifted my eyes. Surprisingly, Tadashi was looking at me, and I dropped my gaze back to my practice book before I could hold his gaze for more than a spilt second. I could feel my cheeks burning at the thought of him watch me- shit, how long had he been looking at me before then?- and I refused to lift my head again. It was one of those looks I didn't think someone like Tadashi would give to someone like me. He wasn't just watching me; it looked like he was drinking me like I was someone he only had eyes for.

There was a mumbled sentence from Tsuki, and Tadashi offered a small laugh in return as it settled into the silence. "Mi." Despite saying I wasn't going to look at him, I glanced up to see Tadashi offering a grin to me. "Tsuki was just saying how much he liked your shirt."

I looked down at the dorky dinosaur, then at the blond with a confused grin. "Thanks, I guess. You like dinosaurs or something?"

"Yeah." He shrugged without looking at me. "They're pretty cool."

"Pffft." Tadashi snickered, winking at me before grinning at the blond as he glared at Tadashi's teasing nature. "Tsuki loves dinosaurs. The guy has a shelf full of dinosaur figures in his room, believe it or not. He has almost every book ever written on them, and he can tell you the scientific name for any one, what part of the planet they lived on, what they ate, and their skeletal structures."

"Wow." I gave the blond an impressed nod. "That's pretty fucking intense."

Tsuki raised his eyebrow. "That's it? You're not going to give me shit about it?"

"Nope." I gave an indifferent shrug. "Why would I? People like what they do. Just because it's not something I like doesn't mean I have a right to give you grief about it. And dinosaurs are pretty badass, so I let it slide."

He gave me a long look, but then moved back to his work without another word. I guess he really was waiting for me to snicker and tell him what a lame-ass he was, but I knew better than to do that. Not everybody liked the same thing- that's what made us all individuals. I liked my music, Tadashi his video games, and Tsuki dinosaurs, apparently. There was enough to sling at each other when out tempers flare, and like I had promised Tadashi earlier, I was going to try my damn hardest to not fuck around with the blond when I didn't have to. It was never meant to be personal.

And somehow, it seemed to keep him mellow for the rest of the evening. He even asked a few questions about my day, and I ended up telling them the story of how their volleyball senpais had stopped in and brightened my night at work. Tadashi was laughing at the predictability of both Nisinoya and Tanaka, and even Tsuki was amused by the humor the duo always seemed to cause wherever they went. That sparked a conversation about how the team was doing, and before long, the two guys were filling me in with a few stories about practice matches they had recently, and some funnier things the guys had done to each other as pranks to ease up under the strain. I was bent over the table by the end of it, laughing so hard I barely had time to breathe. God, those volleyball junkies were fucking jewels!

"Oh my god, Mi!" Tadashi was chuckling at my fit of laughter, and moved to rub a small circle onto my back. "I know it's funny, but try to breathe, okay?"

"Noted." I was wiping the humorous tears from my eyes before pulling my lips into a dumb grin. "I'm okay, dude. I promise. You guys just crack me up so fucking much."

Tsuki snorted. "Trust me, if you were with the team all the time, you wouldn't find it so fucking funny."

"Tsuki!" Tadashi gave him a look. "It's not nice to talk about the others that way. And I saw you laugh the last time they pulled a prank on Kageyama."

"Hey," He offered a light shrug before standing to his feet. "The Idiot King deserved it."

I shook my head as Tadashi slumped at Tsuki's inability to agree with him. "You heading back now?"

He was looking at his phone, but shifted his gaze to look at me without much emotion. "Yeah. It's getting pretty late."

"Phew," Tadashi let out a low whistle as we both glanced at the clock to see that it was past ten. "It is pretty late. Let me walk you to the door."

I stood to my feet as well, stretching with a small noise of pain as I popped my painful joints from the strain of sitting still for a few hours. "I'll come too."

Tsuki merely shrugged before shoving his items into his shoulder bag. "Whatever."

After seeing the blond off, Tadashi and I grabbed our dinners- thankfully kept warm on the stove by his mom's thoughtfulness not to bother us while Tsuki was here- and sauntered back to his room. He had been telling me about this new comic he had picked up on the way home with the blond, and had pulled it off his bed so I could read it. The story was nice and warming, with little blood or gore to make you cringe when the action got intense. It was just like Tadashi to like something targeted to guys, but softened just enough to showcase his more sensitive nature without ruining the storyline or the movement of the characters' resolves.

"It's pretty cool, huh?" He was grinning as I handed the comic back to him. "See? I knew you'd like it!"

I rolled my eyes. "You know how much of a sucker I am for a good plot line. Look at the games I play. They all fit that bill." The mention of video games triggered the talk I had with Chiasa, and I almost breathed a prayer of thanks to the universe for allowing me such a convenient tie-in to the talk I had been pumping myself up for all day. "And speaking of video games, I was thinking of going out tomorrow to pick up one I'd been looking at for a few weeks. You in?"

He blinked for a moment, stretching across the table. My heart plummeted. Fuck. It wasn't like Tadashi to stay silent if he was in agreement, and the sudden lack of words had me tumbling into the anxious pit that had been growing just beneath my calm surface. He wasn't going to say yes, was he? He probably had plans with Tsuki or something else he wanted to do. Without me. I shouldn't have asked. Damn it! I wanted to slap myself at how stupidly optimistic I had been the whole day.

"Sure."

I had to blink, making sure I had heard him correctly. He offered a small chuckle before giving me a thumbs-up. "That sounds like fun. I usually just go for a run in the morning before our afternoon practice for the club, so anytime between then would work for me."

I couldn't help but grin. "Hey, that sounds like a plan."

We spent the rest of the night playing a two-player game we had beaten at least four times already, laughing and screaming as we tried to muddle our way through the insane difficulty setting with little progress. Tadashi was slamming the buttons on his controller almost as loudly as I was, and I broke into fits of laughter so loud I was surprised that his parents hadn't come tromping up the stairs to tell the two of us to calm down. God, I was just so fucking happy, you know? It was great. A perfect evening to one of the best days I could remember.

Tadashi's mom came to check in on us closer to midnight, grabbing our plates off the table as we scrambled to come to a stopping place in the game. "You two really are like two peas in a pod. I might have to reconsider looking into your mom's belief that you might really be my child, Hiromi."

I could only smile. Mom had said plenty of wacky stuff like that to me over the years, and it didn't faze me to hear her trying to peg me for someone else's kid. "She said something like that?"

She was leaning against the door way, scrunching her nose happily as we both watched her. "A few times when you and Tadashi were probably closer to five or six. You might not remember, but your mannerisms were so much like his that we wondered if you guys were actually siblings we had somehow split apart. Seems some things never change." She winked at me. "But looking at you all grown up now, it's clear you're your mother's daughter. She's too pretty to come from our family, huh, Tadashi?"

He sputtered beside me. "M-mom!"

She laughed at his inability to just play along. No- maybe she was laughing at the blush tinting my cheeks as I processed the possibility of Tadashi thinking I was pretty. "Oh, what I would give to be sixteen again. You two are a hoot! But try to tone it down a little, hm? My poor husband will never forgive you if he can't manage a solid night of rest."

"Sure thing, Mom." Tadashi offered kindly. "Have a good night."

"You too, sweetheart." She moved to smile at me. "And you too, Hiromi."

My smile grew at her motherly warmness. "Thanks." I turned to give Tadashi a similar smile after she left. "Well, you heard the lady. Maybe we should call it quits for tonight?"

His answer was clear when he tossed his controller lightly onto the rug we were sitting on. "Sounds good." His eyes were shining with an excited light when they landed on me. "We have a busy day tomorrow, so maybe we should try to go to sleep in a little while too."

I nodded, flushing as I realized his excitement was stemming from us heading out together. "Yeah."

I stood to my feet, only to watch in confusion as he scrambled to do the same. After a moment, he opened and his arms, taking a step and a half until the space between us was gone. My breath caught. Holy shit. Was Tadashi trying to initiate something for the first time in our relationship?

I should have known he was just going to hug me. My rigidness melted as he slid his arms around me, holding me gently against his own body. I could feel my arms returning the gesture on instinct, and I felt my face push into the material of his tee shirt. The feeling of his scent left me closing my eyes, so lost in the peaceful feeling being pressed right up against him that I caved. I could feel myself nuzzling his neck, breathing in the warmness of his exposed skin against my cheek and the tip of my nose. It was so familiar, so inviting, I wanted to keep us just like this for all eternity until we both drowned in the feeling.

I felt Tadashi's pulse quicken, but he offered a soft response that betrayed it. "Night, Mi."

"Night." I murmured just as quietly. Neither of us moved to break the hug, and for once, I wasn't trying to end it first. Maybe I was going soft. Nah, to hell with it. My resolve had been crumbling since the moment the two of us had been reunited. This kid really got me. It wasn't a farce, or some shit that was too good to be true- even if I wanted to think that it was most of the time. I felt my arms tighten around him, squeezing him with all the thankfulness I could muster. "I'll see you tomorrow."

It felt like I was walking on cloud nine all the way back to my room when we finally managed to break away from each other. Tadashi was having a hard time meeting my gaze, and I had to giggle like the idiot I was at how fucking adorable this kid could get when he got flustered. Not that I wasn't- hell, my face was probably deep red out of mortification for letting him hold me for that long- and the realization that maybe there was something- anything- more than a friendship blossoming between us made me feel.. well, normal. I could feel the gnawing doubts from the years of teasing and isolation warn me that one wrong step would have me back on my own, but I pushed them aside with an optimistic hum.

I wasn't going to overstep my boundaries with Tadashi. There was no way I was going to make a mess of things now that I had them firmly in my grasp.

**AN: Sorry for a late update. Life is very busy, but I can't complain. What do you think about Mi finally trying to take some steps forward? How much awkwardness will ensue? Stick around for the next chapter!**


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